White Light Realm Experience

[the white light]

Hi. I am searching for answers. Some time a go (about 20), I had a profound experience which I am still yet to understand.
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When I was about 19 years old (am now 40), after some traumatic events, I became quiet reclusive, spending my time on my own most the time,
reading books from various spiritual traditions, some self help, some from established religions.
During this time, I was also abstaining from sex. eating a vegetarian diet. refraining from indulging in any form of intoxication.
I also mediated on a fairly regular basis, although, just light mindfulness and body scan type.
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I spent most my time at home or going for walks in the country or beach (I live on a small islands that has both).
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During one day, when I was relaxing while lying on my bed doing light meditation,
I had a strange experience. I felt my being begging to leave my body, with my spirit slowly spiraling out of my body into a realm of pure white dazzling light,
and as I spiraled out, I experienced the "real" world dissolve or fade out so that all that I could experience was an endless expanse of the pure white dazzling light
as vast as the night sky but without blemish, or imperfection.
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At this point, I got scared, as I did not understand what was going on. And as soon as I feared, I felt my being drop back into my body with a slight jolt.
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After this experience, i experienced several weeks of complete unity with the universe, with no stress, or depression, or conflict in the mind.
It felt as if everything in the universe was exactly in the right place, as if every element was simply playing its own part in the great symphony of the universe, in effect all existence was simply in perfect synchronicity with all its parts and existing in unity, as one.
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Sadly, this state did not continue and eventually, I was dragged back into the "real" world of life and accumulated attachment, and progressively became more entangled in life.
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Now, before all this happened, i spent most of my adolescence training extensively in karate, often 7 days a week and sometimes training several sessions a day.
I also have always have a fairly moral out look and compassionate perspective.
Before going into retreat, I had a traumatic break up with my first serious girl friend, whom I imagined I would spend the rest of my life with. However, I broke up after she started cheating on me. It was this experience that lead me to retreat from the world.
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I thought that all the training in Karate, along with other conditions, perhaps worked in a similar way to Yoga to induce such a state. Or perhaps It was caused by accumulated merit / karma.
I would be really interested in learning what anyone's opinion is as to what they think happened and if perhaps any advice as to the path to follow, teaching to follow, in order to get my self back on this path.
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Thanks for any help.
Kind regards
Om Mane Padme Hum!

[gregkavarnos]

First of all: welcome to Dharma Wheel!!!

Secondly, are you currently practicing within the framework of a specific tradition (and wish to replicate the experience) or are you just looking for an explanation of the specific experience?

[shaunc]

Welcome, I'm sorry that I can't help you but it sounds like a fantastic experience to have.

[greentara]

It sounds luminous and wonderful. If you want a repeat performance it won't happen. The key word is 'want'...there can be no want or will!

[etinin]

Spiritual practice will often induce that kind of experience. Outside buddhism, it is commonly known as an astral projection or lucid dreaming.
Some buddhist traditions do not see it as a reliable way of obtaining knowldge. I remember reading a sutra in which the Buddha warns against the potentially untruthful content that may be experienced. It seems to me, though, to be described in the six dharmas of Naropa. The experience of "subtle body detachment" is also said to be very similar to what is experienced in the states of the bardo, after one dies.

I do suggest caution while using these experiences in order to obtain insight, as they can be misleading if not done properly. I won't go further, but there are some ways of inducing them before going to sleep and if you're really keen on that, you can find (mostly non-buddhist) suggestions on the internet. As far as buddhism goes, my advice is to obtain insight through meditation (like Vipassana and Shamata) and find a qualified master. This kind of experience may arise naturally during non-conceptual meditation but you should not get attached to them, which is something very easy to do without proper guidance, as they are distinct from enlightenment. I believe that what you experienced is akin to what is experienced in the non-form realm. Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche mentions this state of stability, though in a different context, in his book Gates to Buddhist Practice.

Some (vajrayana) meditation resources which may be helpful in your spiritual quest:

http://en.chagdud.org/instructions-for-shamatha/
http://www.atiling.org/images/Meditation_on_4T.pdf

[Dronma]

Experiences are just experiences. We have to move on towards Total Liberation!
And yes, it is better to find a qualified teacher!

[LittleCat]

I had a very similar experience, over 20 years ago. Son-of-a-gun, that's round about the same time, yes?

Deeply depressed, I began my search for enlightenment, and prayed for reassurance. For a long while I had been having trouble sleeping, but on this one night, right after I prayed for help, I fell asleep soundly, for hours. I woke remembering that I'd just been someplace extraordinary. Wherever I had been, I had no form, but there was brilliant light all around, pure energy, and a maelstrom of wisdom and knowledge flowing in and around me. I can't even remember a sense of self..just being part of something wonderful.

Yikes, I was in a panic..and wanted to go back immediately. I've not a clue as to how long I was 'there', although I am sure in this world I was only in that state for perhaps a few fleeting moments, or even seconds. I remember unbelievable peace and joy, and a sense of 'being home'.

I've spent hours, days, years, pursuing that state of being, trying to recapture that fleeting moment, and the hope of knowing that such states of being are possible has kept me going, all these years. If there is a better state of being than even that, then I'm all for it, too, but I credit that bit of bait for getting me going in the right direction.

So count yourself lucky if you've had such an experience.

[sahaja]

I had a similar experience also, but i can't give you any answers.

White bright light approaching, everything dissolving into it, as i slid into it there was this vast emptiness and i realized all the physical world, everything i held dear, all dreams, hopes, and fears, had never existed, nothing lost. Then i was part of the light itself, infinite, it was everything, contained everything. I can think of no other way to describe it within the framework of conceptual mind other than to say it was as though it were alive in some way, and i don't even know what i mean by that, certainly not the space between birth and death. (Perhaps 'alive' like consciousness/energy which also looks like white light) And an infinite awareness doesn't even come close to describing it. Words fail me. There is no way of describing it well.

Now as for the yogas mentioned, Naropa's, my sangha uses yogas similar to them. I am somewhat familiar with all those yogas, and lucid dreaming, but dream yoga goes much further than just that, and with astral projection and other things.

From my teacher at various times, "explore the light." "throw out the symbolism, it's there for people who can't see, go with the light." (And once when i got scared and stopped) "Too bad, you would have had a tremendous experience." and " Go into the light".

So yes, it was by my teachers direction and brought about by the yogas and practices.

The light i had experienced with the yogas and such previously was a dim, pale, and static compared to the experience i tried to describe above. I was away from my sangha and not doing darshons at the time and the opportunity never arose to ask my teacher about it. He probably wouldn't have given me an explanation or defined it anyway. I would gotten just a nod or perhaps with this, an emphatic Yes! Yes! Yes! And a big smile. He wasn't big on us adding even more definition and ideation. One often had the sensation of flailing about, trying to grasp onto something when around him. It's an uncanny sensation.

To me the experience was a definition itself insofar that it needs one and a blessing. It really doesn't need validation or the opinions of others. Take care lest the diamond you hold turns into ashes.

[Free]

Your experience reckons with kensho -- a glimpse of enlightenment, and understanding of reality.

These experiences are somewhat common in people and can occur to them having meditated 30 years or not at all,,, what is really happening is that you are getting a glimpse at the truth of reality,, that there is nothing there but pristine, full and expansive awareness,,, all objects, the universe, everything is only truly representative of dream matter.

"After arriving at the Nirvikalpa state, man realises for the first time that his whole existence as a physical body as well as an individualized consciousness is unreal, evanescent, and ephemeral. He then knows for certain that the individualised body aspect and the individualised consciousness aspect are composed of mere dream stuff of the Primary Consciousness, the only Absolute Reality behind all the worlds of phenomena.

When He (Primary Consciousness) imagines or daydreams, He creates a dream stuff composed cosmos, which to us is the waking cosmos and of which we all are a part. Thus we all are His day dream. The cosmos is not composed of a so called real physical matter. On the contrary it is composed of Primary Consciousness alone albeit Primary Consciousness in His formful mode."

-From Bhagavad Gita

This was written about 3 thousand years ago, the Gita is famous in indian literature. Everyoe who has the experience of cosmic consciousness/Nirvakalpa samadhi experiences it in the same way, regardless of their personal beliefs or religion.

Sounds like you need some dzogchen to realize that that nature is always here. I would recommend Longchen Rabjam

[Stewart]

.... and I would recommend finding an authentic teacher... Probably best not to listen to peoples 'interpretations' on forums... Especially when they are mixing up traditions like Zen, Dzogchen and Hinduism.

... I sense a presence that I haven't felt since... J...? (shakes head in disbelief, walks on)

[heart]

"Whenever I hear the word 'cosmic consciousness' I reach for my revolver"

/magnus

[Andrew108]

These experiences are 'karmic wind' type of experiences of which there are millions. There is a dualism involved and tellingly these experiences don't bring about confidence. Confidence is the key here. If the experience isn't glimpsing natural wisdom then there will be no confidence - just surprise and questioning. The confidence I'm talking about (which is the confidence of seeing something clearly that was previously hidden) meshes or connects with the instructions of your teacher.

[Dronma]

.... and I would recommend finding an authentic teacher... Probably best not to listen to peoples 'interpretations' on forums... Especially when they are mixing up traditions like Zen, Dzogchen and Hinduism.

"Whenever I hear the word 'cosmic consciousness' I reach for my revolver"

/magnus

[Jikan]

.... and I would recommend finding an authentic teacher... Probably best not to listen to peoples 'interpretations' on forums... Especially when they are mixing up traditions like Zen, Dzogchen and Hinduism.

[Johnny Dangerous]

Just a thought here..i've experienced all kinds of weirdness in meditation...

I wonder sometimes if the stuff that actually matters is the stuff we like the least, the things which seem the most mundane, for sure going after a repeat of your experience is just chasing shadows - the memory of a thing is not the thing anyway. Other than the important step of advice from an actual teacher IMO the best we can do is sit down with no expectations at all and try to really abide with what is at the time - even if it's just stinky old boredom and the general malaise of being alive.

[Dronma]

Just a thought here..i've experienced all kinds of weirdness in meditation...

I wonder sometimes if the stuff that actually matters is the stuff we like the least, the things which seem the most mundane, for sure going after a repeat of your experience is just chasing shadows - the memory of a thing is not the thing anyway. Other than the important step of advice from an actual teacher IMO the best we can do is sit down with no expectations at all and try to really abide with what is at the time - even if it's just stinky old boredom and the general malaise of being alive.

[Yudron]

Yes, I think soon science will have explanations for those cosmic experiences many have, related to the brain. It's sad, but -- at least until supreme enlightenment--the real practice is pretty gradual and mundane. And results may be measurable by what happens to you when you find out that your mortgage payment is overdue because the bank still hasn't corrected your address in all their databases, even though you have called them three times about it, so you didn't get a bill! [My day]

[Karma Dondrup Tashi]

I experienced eternal and infinite bliss!

Temporarily...

[Karma Dondrup Tashi]

I experienced eternal and infinite bliss!

Temporarily...

Ugh what a horrible sneering tone of voice, sorry. Apparently being a big important dzogchempa makes me facetious.

[gregkavarnos]

"Whenever I hear the word 'cosmic consciousness' I reach for my revolver"

/magnus

Whenever I hear the word 'cosmic consciousness' I reach for my credit card! (Apologies to Fassbinder )