Just my personal opinion .... but maybe you are one of those who can find a path without a formal "Teacher".
I am one. It's NOT an easy path .... but in my particular case it seemed to be the only path I would accept.
Yes, a lot of errors were made, but then realizations too.
If you do have the right attitude then every day that you start is your teacher for that day
I used to worry about not having a Teacher also.....until I realized I DID have a Teacher that day.
The story that made me understand was this:
There was a foolish man who one day while looking at his face in a mirror, accidentaly dropped the mirror, and the mirror shattered into many pieces.
Being a fooolish man he believed that like the mirror his head had also been broken into many pieces.
He spent many days running around trying to find another whole mirror so he could use it to put his head back together.
Finally he happened to pass a pool of water. Glancing down into the pool he saw his head reflected in the pool on his body.
He was greatly relevied to see that his head had been there on his shoulders all along, and therefore there was no need for him to search any longer.
In Zen, there is a saying that some people searching wildly about for understanding are like a hungery man with a pot of rice in his hand who carries around a lit candle trying to find a fire to cook his rice.
If he understood the true nature of that candle in his hand, he would not need that thing called "Fire".
Shame on you Shakyamuni for setting the precedent of leaving home.
Did you think it was not there--
in your wife's lovely face
in your baby's laughter?
Did you think you had to go elsewhere (simply) to find it?
from - Judyth Collin
The Layman's Lament
From What Book, 1998, p. 52
Edited by Gary Gach