You were in my prayers today.
When I had a very painful situation, I found out a meditation that gives relief to me quite immediately:
I sit down and imagine a field of people with exactly the same desease like i have in that moment. There are in reality thousands and millions of people with just the same problem as I have. Then I start tonglen-breathing:
- Think of all their (including my) suffering as black smoke. Inhale it. So they (and I) get free of it in that moment.
- The inhaled black smoke strikes a little black nut which is situated in my heart. This black nut is my own selfishness.
- As soon as the smoke strikes the nut, it bursts.
- Out of bursting, a wish-fulfilling jewel comes out. It was hidden in the nut of selfishness.
- Now it radiates beams of light and joy. All darkness vanished.
- This light and fortune I breathe out - onto ALL the suffering people (including me).
- Great joy in giving it to all of them, in seeing them becoming happy,
- until the next breathing in...
In the beginning, it is good to train this slowly. Maybe first just trying to give the light and enjoy the arising brightness.
Later, if one is used to it, it goes quite quickly:
Black smoke breathing in, bursting black nut, exposed wish-fulfilling gem, joyfull light breathing out, giving it to all the suffering people, seeing how their pains are being soothed - then next breath: black smoke, little nut, bright gem, light flowing to the suffering breathing out, looking, - breathing in black smoke, hitting the nut, creating more and more light out of joy... And so on.
The focus is on breathing out. Breath should flow naturally.
If you are interested in it, you should look for further informations about Tonglen. There are many books, sites and teachers.
Because, if our mothers, who have been kind to us
From beginningless time, are suffering,
What can we do with (just) our own happiness?
From 10th of 37 Bodhisattva Practices