Simon E. wrote:reddust wrote:Have you noticed how the men address this thread and us women? I totally agree with the guys saying you cannot change another person. But you can help your mate with their confusion and they can help you. Being helpful, caring, patient and not controlling opens up a whole new world of relationships. I really feel better when I can talk about how I am feeling without feeling threatened or controlled. I read in another thread that monks and nuns go through the same kind of relationship issues as us married folk. Food for thought
And how would you feel if you discovered that your partner/husband/wife was posting on a website their intention to 'make you more peaceful' and 'change you ' ?
Or if you read that your occasional scratchiness was an indicator of incipient upheavals in your 'unconscious ' caused by 'ideas of gender equality ' ?
So many post hit on this one area, I am assuming he is posting without his wife knowing this, but you never know. That is why I never brought this up. Some really good posts abut this issue too! Gender equality I do bring up from time to time, its kind of obvious most men run the big Buddhist administrative divisions. That's how all really big powerful institutions seem to have worked since we have developed institutional systems.
I really enjoy being a woman, the cooking, caring for the kids and family and all the traditional baggage that goes with it. I get tired being hit with the feminist stuff, be like a man….I am not a man or being told I should be barefoot and pregos per my cultural redneck baggage, so much conflicting data, like society saying I should not get upset when I want to take care of my family and the social economic realities are forcing me outside of that biological niche women have evolved within for, well it seems forever. On one end of this deal I am told be like a man, go to work, ignore you biological needs and fears and on the other end of the deal I am being told you are a woman don't go there you don't belong. And it's samsara so deal with it! Well I am trying to deal with it, that's why I talk about it.
I hope the OP can get some good stuff off this thread that will help him sort through his relationships.
EDIT….The gender difference I brought up here had to do with how men and women handle stress, it may be heavily influenced by our biological differences. I didn't mean to put anyone down.