YOU CANNOT POST. OUR WEB HOSTING COMPANY DECIDED TO MOVE THE SERVER TO ANOTHER LOCATION. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN VIEW THIS VERSION WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW POSTING AND WILL NOT SAVE ANYTHING YOU DO ONCE THE OTHER SERVER GOES ONLINE.

Attachment and my new baby daughter - Dhamma Wheel

Attachment and my new baby daughter

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
User avatar
bodom
Posts: 5713
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby bodom » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:32 pm

I am so afraid that i have just brought the biggest sense of attachment into my life with the birth of my first daughter. How do i balance my practice of non-attachment and non-clinging with my daughter? How do i love her unconditionally without being in any way attached? To the parents here with young children how do you handle this dilema?

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

User avatar
tiltbillings
Posts: 23012
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:25 am

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby tiltbillings » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:37 pm


User avatar
adosa
Posts: 266
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:08 pm

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby adosa » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:10 pm

Congrats Friend!, :smile:

The most important thing now is your daughter. Raise her with the values of the Dhamma and I'm sure everything will be fine.



Ron
"To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas" - Dhammapada 183

User avatar
Annapurna
Posts: 2639
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
Location: Germany
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby Annapurna » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:30 pm

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

User avatar
Jechbi
Posts: 1268
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 3:38 am
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby Jechbi » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:33 pm


User avatar
cooran
Posts: 8502
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 pm
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby cooran » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:33 pm

---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

User avatar
retrofuturist
Site Admin
Posts: 17855
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby retrofuturist » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:42 pm

"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

User avatar
genkaku
Posts: 416
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:14 pm
Location: Northampton, Mass. U.S.A.
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby genkaku » Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:51 am

The great thing about parent-dom -- assuming anyone likes their children -- is that, perhaps for the first time in your life, you have to pay attention. Sometimes it is light as a feather. Sometimes it's a terrible grind. Either way, attention, attention, attention. No more chitchat about compassion or altruism or enlightenment ... change the diapers, wipe up the spilled milk, pick up the toys, and find that all of your senses have been somehow elevated to see and hear and attend to what requires attention. Waxing lyrical is not enough ... only attention is enough.

And it is that attention, in all its forms, that teaches an honest Buddhism ... at least for my money.

My Zen teacher -- a Japanese fellow -- said to me twice (which for a Japanese person is about like a Marine Corps drill sergeant screaming in your ear): "Take care of your family."

And bit by bit, over time and with attention, the meaning of family takes root. It ain't just the people who live under the roof with you.

Parent-dom is a great blessing.
And a great curse.
But in the end, it is a true blessing.

Enjoy yourself.
Smile just one smile




User avatar
David N. Snyder
Site Admin
Posts: 10648
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:15 am
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:56 am

Image




Individual
Posts: 1970
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:19 am

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby Individual » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:06 am

The best things in life aren't things.


User avatar
David N. Snyder
Site Admin
Posts: 10648
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:15 am
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:26 am

Image




Individual
Posts: 1970
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:19 am

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby Individual » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:55 am

The best things in life aren't things.


nathan
Posts: 692
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:11 am

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby nathan » Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:52 am

But whoever walking, standing, sitting, or lying down overcomes thought, delighting in the stilling of thought: he's capable, a monk like this, of touching superlative self-awakening. § 110. {Iti 4.11; Iti 115}

User avatar
Rui Sousa
Posts: 366
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:01 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby Rui Sousa » Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:54 am

A child will induce some extreme feelings, during the first years of love and dedication, latter on of exasperation and concern as well. I believe that this way feelings become apparent and if we can pay them proper attention we cab develop our wisdom.

Attachment, compassion, kindness, friendship and concern are all very different. Compassion, kindness and friendship will make experience sukha, attachment, concern and exasperation will make experience dukkha.

There will be many moment in which the Dhamma may become a safe refuge, away from the dukkha of seeing a child in pain, with high fevers, or sad for some reason.

:hug: :heart:
With Metta

User avatar
kc2dpt
Posts: 957
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 3:48 pm

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby kc2dpt » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:41 pm

- Peter


User avatar
David N. Snyder
Site Admin
Posts: 10648
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:15 am
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:33 pm

Image




User avatar
bodom
Posts: 5713
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby bodom » Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:05 pm

To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

rowyourboat
Posts: 1952
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:29 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby rowyourboat » Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:17 pm

getting rid of attachment completely is only possible only at the non returner stage. I take it you are not there yet! so dont worry about this now- prematurely taking on such a huge project like getting rid of attachment is not likely to succeed at an early stage. so continue with your practice the best that you can and try not to have aversion that your child in the way of your practice somehow- she is not. Make it an opportunity to develop new things- like selflessness. there are always other areas of your mind to work on, other than attachment.

with metta
:namaste:
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha

User avatar
David N. Snyder
Site Admin
Posts: 10648
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:15 am
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Contact:

Re: Attachment and my new baby daughter

Postby David N. Snyder » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:26 pm

Image





Return to “General Theravāda discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 51 guests

Google Saffron, Theravada Search Engine