Padme wrote: Of course it's much more difficult without a teacher, but I never asked if it was okay if I do this, that's between me and my heart. I was just asking for learning resources. I don't see anything wrong with earnest home study & practice, as long as I'm not out there teaching others or claiming to be an expert based on what I learn from home. And I certainly do intend to travel to occasional retreats, etc.; I just don't have a nearby teacher. I don't even know if this is the tradition for me yet, I am simply trying to learn more about it, the reasons for the rituals, etc.
Incidentally, I recently wrote to Robert Thurman and told him of my isolated situation and my desire to learn more about the Tibetan tradition and he didn't make any attempt to dissuade me. He wrote back with some suggested readings and gave me some very sincere advice, none of which was "don't attempt this". I hold him in high esteem, so while I appreciate and respect the opinions of a couple of you that suggested against this, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to learn more about this practice on my own, with the assistance of reading, reputable websites and input from others about practice.
Also, to be clear: I'm not asking for references on the rituals, etc so I can arbitrarily mimic them, I'm asking about what the rituals are so I can study WHY they perform them. That's all to understand the principals of the fundamentals to determine IF it's even something I want to pursue as personal practice.
Hi Padme, that makes sense, and I never meant to discourage you from sincerely studying books and study courses, etc. from your own home to develop an overview. That sounds great. I was just pointing out that from a Vajrayana point of view-- what the tradition itself says-- is that until one receives the wang, lung, and tri = the empowerment, oral transmission, and individually-catered instructions, from a qualified Lama then the Vajrayana sadhanas themselves will generally not bear any fruit. At the very least, one needs the permission from a Lama to begin a practice, and the oral transmission. But these restrictions mainly are around Vajrayana level practice, and even so there are still some mantras and activities that are considered beneficial to everyone regardless of transmission simply through the vastness of their power. However, receiving lung for these will still bring a much more powerful effect. Among these would be the mantra of Chenrezi "Om Mani Padme Hung", which is considered the essence of compassion for instance.
As for studying sincerely about the Vajrayana lineage, it's practices, how it functions according to and within the framework of the Buddha's own teachings on dependent arising, sunyata, etc. this is a good idea. . . and studying things like the text by Rob Preece I recommended would be good. As long as it doesn't just crystallize as intellectual knowledge alone, and as long as you realize that it is surely possible to find and connect with a proper lineage-holder if your intention, motivation, and diligence all line up properly...In that case, what may seem like obstacles now won't hinder you in the least. But it is good to take one's time with these things-- it is said in some texts to study a teacher for up to 12 years before one makes the commitment to them and takes empowerment with them, securing them as a Guru. So even now from a distance you can begin learning about different teachers, lineages, etc. Some are controversial and I would say to be wary of those, there is usually good reason to avoid them, and their teachings may actually lead one away from the essence of Dharma. Because of the weight of these decisions it is actually the best thing to do what you're doing to study the traditions so you can make educated choices when the time comes. But for now, doing sutra-level meditation practices such as shamatha and vipassana is not something to trivialize! These are the foundation for all other practices, and the depth and understanding of them continue all the way up into and through Vajrayana and Dzogchen/Mahamudra-- you are just relating to them slightly differently as the vehicles shift. Also, meditations on cultivating Bodhicitta and compassion meditations on the Four Immeasurables or Tonglen meditation can all be practiced from reading instructions alone, and they are most profound!