Thanks Narraboth, you made me look into it more. I think the first two are present but I guess it's not possible for me to know whether someone generated a wrong view on Vajrayana because of this. However, Jamgon Kongtrul doesn't say anything about there being a neccessity to generate a wrong view about Vajrayana.
Maybe you're right but then we are not lamas either... I think that if teachers share with everyone it doesn't neccessarily mean we can do it too. Maybe I'm wrong but I prefer to play it safe for myself.
my dear friend,
Dudjom rinpoche explained in his three vows commentary: '... and cause the person lose faith.'
In 4th Dalai lama's three vows commentary: 'when the person understand what you said and generate wrong view.'
I think it's logical because in the root verse: 'reveal secret to not-suitable containers.' People who haven't recieved empowerment can still be suitable containers for something. (Dudjom Rinpoche made a famous claim when asked why he gave empowerment so openly: 'anyone who belongs to mahayana clan is a suitable container (to recieve empowerment); anyone who has heard 'om mani padme hum' mantra belongs to mahayana clan.' that sounds like a bold claim, but it's totally base on what Buddha said.)
The first requirement is actually not about the person you told to, it's about you, you need to check his status. If you believe that he has recieved empowerment etc, then even he generate negative view, you have done your duty. Then the second requirement is about the action. The third requirement is the actual factor, which is: this person is really a not-suitable container.
As you said, it's impossible to know if anyone generate wrong view, but you don't need to know that to break the vow. As long as you reveal secret to people who you know are not qualified
and they generate negative thought, the downfall stands. (Even it stands, if you confess within 4 hours, which is 1/6 of a day, it can be recovered. I think only when it passes one day, it turns into a real break. you can check the book.) Since we wouldn't know if someone generate negative thoughts or wrong view, so we'd better to confess everyday.
I think it's not about the difference between us and a lama, a vow is a vow, we all need to follow it (if the lama is not a enlightened being yet). But I don't know how deep the secret your dharma friend revealed. I made an example on giving empowerment, but there are different requirements to people who want to get empowerment and people who want to do dzogchen practice. So maybe you are right.
Still, revealing secret has many disadvantages, even you didn't really ruin others, it can still cause a delay of your practice getting result.