Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:
What it depends on is: are you determined to question yourself, your ideas, your culture, your religion, everything you have ever heard, thought, felt, till its ultimate consequence?
I don't understand. If I want to deconstruct everything, why would I need Buddhism to do it?
No, you don't have to deconstruct everything, it would be much too much work anyway ...
In fact, you don't have to deconstruct anything
at all. Deconstructing is a work of samsara, a result of dualistic thinking, just as constructing is.
The point is much more about transgressing. Transgreding their all-mightiness. Instead of following or rejecting either construction or deconstruction, seeing what they are in reality, seeing them as they are, leaving them as they are and passing beyond.
Letting them be what they are without any trace of manipulation, they become irrelevant. Or, as the tradition says, they spontaneously auto-liberate.
The clue is manipulation. Constructing and deconstructing are manipulations. Who is it manipulating? Questioning means not-following
things that normally are taken for granted.
Rejecting means following them in a negative way. Manipulating is following ..... Manipulating is being the slave of both the object and the subject (will, desire) of manipulation.
I understand you need to contemplate the teachings in order to understand it. But then....In simple terms, if I am taking refuge, if I start questioning what I am doing, why I am doing this instead of something else, the whole thing will just fall apart.
You don't have to question why you are doing it, nor what you are doing, but rather who
is doing it. The rest follows that "who".
If you find that who, you should neither follow nor reject it. Just leave it as it is ... And this is something radically new.
I am really good at this sort of thing, ruminating and all, and I see it as an obstacle to practice, not practice itself. When I start questioning myself, I can't practice at all!
an obstacle to practice. This is self-castigation. As said above, questioning should neither be deconstructing, nor destroying, or rejecting. These all are just negative ways of following.
Questioning is rather understanding
them as they are, understanding their real nature. Questioning them is an attitude of compassion with oneself, rather than self castigation. Feeling guilty is the most negative and most destructive thing one can do to oneself. One of the biggest obstacles at all.
I think I have done this kind of thinking before, questioning everything and the ultimate consequence is that there really is no use continuing living, and that I'm better off dead.
As said, questioning is not doubting. Questioning is finding the real significance of things. Questioning is the liberation from their overwhelming presence ... on the basis of compassionate understanding.
And yes, just as Kirt said:
The ultimate consequence is that you could become a Buddha in this lifetime and save all beings.
all the best