Rejecting an Offering

[ngodrup]

To suggest a more technical response, based on vows as understood in Hinayana and some Mahayana groups.

Receive the gift into your hand,and acknowledge that you have received it. That completes the act
for the giver. Then you get to perform an act of generosity. You may, for example, say "I wish to
make an offering of this very precious object I have to you." Then you give back the very same
item, saying "it was given to me by a very kind donor, I think you may find it useful and meaningful.
Please receive my generosity at this time."

Sometimes you see Tibetans do this several times with the same thing-- going back and forth a dozen times.

[futerko]

To suggest a more technical response, based on vows as understood in Hinayana and some Mahayana groups.

Receive the gift into your hand,and acknowledge that you have received it. That completes the act
for the giver. Then you get to perform an act of generosity. You may, for example, say "I wish to
make an offering of this very precious object I have to you." Then you give back the very same
item, saying "it was given to me by a very kind donor, I think you may find it useful and meaningful.
Please receive my generosity at this time."

Sometimes you see Tibetans do this several times with the same thing-- going back and forth a dozen times.

That's a nice image. Kind of the opposite to a ritual that used to occur in my family. My mother would buy shopping for her mother and refuse to accept payment for it, but her mother would refuse to not pay, so the money would go back and forth many times for about 20 minutes, neither party accepting the generosity of the other. This would happen at least once a week, it used to drive me crazy when I was eight!

[5heaps]

Who is to say whether that incompleteness may not lead to something far more auspicious than if the action was completed?

do you have a gambling addiction? a practitioner requires as much leisure and fortune as they can get. complete karmas.

[futerko]

Who is to say whether that incompleteness may not lead to something far more auspicious than if the action was completed?

do you have a gambling addiction? a practitioner requires as much leisure and fortune as they can get. complete karmas.

haha, my addictions are my business!
If you read the OP, the person in question wasn't a practitioner, so wouldn't have dedicated the merit anyway.

[deepbluehum]

Yesterday I did something kind for someone and in return they offered me something I didn't need. It was obvious to me that they could clearly use this thing in the future and that I didn't need it, wouldn't even use it because it was a coupon for free food that I wouldn't eat. I told them that I really appreciated the gesture, which was true, but that they should keep it and use it themselves. Obviously my intention was that they should receive the most benefit possible and that I should not take something from someone who was as impoverished as they were.

However immediately a thought occurred to me that maybe I had done something really bad by rejecting her offering, and I felt really bad for not taking it. In theory, although I am not any kind of great practitioner, lama or Guru, I aspire to be a better practitioner and have taken Bodhisattva vows and so forth. On some level I wondered if rejecting her offering had eliminated a potential cause for her to accumulate good karma and merit since she was making an offering to a Buddhist (even if she didn't know it), and my main concern is that I might have done just this.

So my question is this: Should we always accept offerings from people even if we know they need it more than us simply to allow them to generate karma and merit? Since she does not know I am a Buddhist and her intention was simply to return kindness, was any harm actually done by my rejecting it? I know if I could go back in time I would accept it, simply based on my immediate reaction and awareness of how I might negatively affect someones ability to generate sources of merit and good karma. At the same time her intention was the same either way, it was a completely selfless gesture made by someone who had nothing in order to return kindness to a complete stranger who obviously didn't need it and on that level I can see how she still generated good karma and merit.

If I have done something to deprive her of good karma please let me know so I can make offerings and do practices and dedicate the merit and karma to her. Thanks in advance!

No you do benefit for them. Their offer establishes the karma. No need to take it.

[dakini_boi]

Receive the gift into your hand,and acknowledge that you have received it. That completes the act
for the giver. Then you get to perform an act of generosity. You may, for example, say "I wish to
make an offering of this very precious object I have to you." Then you give back the very same
item, saying "it was given to me by a very kind donor, I think you may find it useful and meaningful.
Please receive my generosity at this time."

This is great!
Yes, it has occurred to me that there is more merit generated for the giver when the offering is accepted. I came to realize this because I would notice how I always feel better when I offer something and it is received.

[Heruka]

i practice the path of the empty hand,
i hold nothing,
i take nothing,
i got nothing.

[Heruka]

what if i offered a pile of cow dung?

would you take it?