ego interference

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ego interference

Postby Johnny Dangerous » Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:26 am

So, during Chenrezig practice I have noticed some of my "self voices" going insane, particularly with the visualization of oneself as Chenrezig, it literally feels like something is screaming at me and warning me that what I am doing is bad. Obviously I know not to regard this voice as "real", but i'm wondering if this is normal, and if it decreases with time or what?

Sometimes I get some very vivid some nasty energies that aren't usually near the surface, mostly doubt-based and they fight against the practice, disturbing concentration. I get the same thing when I do prostrations but it is milder.
Anyone have similar experiences when they began, and if so, what do you advise?
"Just as a lotus does not grow out of a well-levelled soil but from the mire, in the same way the awakening mind
is not born in the hearts of disciples in whom the moisture of attachment has dried up. It grows instead in the hearts of ordinary sentient beings who possess in full the fetters of bondage." -Se Chilbu Choki Gyaltsen
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Re: ego interference

Postby windsweptliberty » Thu Dec 20, 2012 4:56 am

I have experienced somthing like that which I attribute to some sort of fear. I usually sit with it and remind my self that not even that is permenent. :heart:
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Re: ego interference

Postby heart » Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:49 am

Johnny Dangerous wrote:So, during Chenrezig practice I have noticed some of my "self voices" going insane, particularly with the visualization of oneself as Chenrezig, it literally feels like something is screaming at me and warning me that what I am doing is bad. Obviously I know not to regard this voice as "real", but i'm wondering if this is normal, and if it decreases with time or what?

Sometimes I get some very vivid some nasty energies that aren't usually near the surface, mostly doubt-based and they fight against the practice, disturbing concentration. I get the same thing when I do prostrations but it is milder.
Anyone have similar experiences when they began, and if so, what do you advise?


You can have a lot of uncomfortable experiences when you start "domesticating" your mind. Try to relax, don't visualize with a lot of tension. The most important part of visualization is not a constant visual experience in your mind. If you trust Chenrezig to be ever present compassion, you can relax in that presence, no need to force any visual experience. Let the visualization come in short and inspired flashes that comes from your experience of his compassion.

/magnus
"To reject practice by saying, 'it is conceptual!' is the path of fools. A tendency of the inexperienced and something to be avoided."
- Longchenpa
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Re: ego interference

Postby Johnny Dangerous » Thu Dec 20, 2012 6:51 am

Thanks guys, yes..it's definitely a kind of fear. I decided to just take break for the rest of the day, I think that also I hurried through my practice in a bit of a confused state, which probably contributed.
"Just as a lotus does not grow out of a well-levelled soil but from the mire, in the same way the awakening mind
is not born in the hearts of disciples in whom the moisture of attachment has dried up. It grows instead in the hearts of ordinary sentient beings who possess in full the fetters of bondage." -Se Chilbu Choki Gyaltsen
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Re: ego interference

Postby catmoon » Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:09 am

Johnny Dangerous wrote:So, during Chenrezig practice I have noticed some of my "self voices" going insane, particularly with the visualization of oneself as Chenrezig, it literally feels like something is screaming at me and warning me that what I am doing is bad. Obviously I know not to regard this voice as "real", but i'm wondering if this is normal, and if it decreases with time or what?

Sometimes I get some very vivid some nasty energies that aren't usually near the surface, mostly doubt-based and they fight against the practice, disturbing concentration. I get the same thing when I do prostrations but it is milder.
Anyone have similar experiences when they began, and if so, what do you advise?


Fascinating. I'd advise running through the puja with a teacher present for a while. A really well qualified one.
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
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