I think the "householder bodhisattva" model, as promising as it may seem at first glance, raises a lot of difficulties.
The basic problem is that love, caring, intimacy and attachment are vital ingredients in family life. So if one decides to abandon these things, while still maintaining the role of householder, one is basically striving to be a cruel spouse and parent.
A spouse who is abandoned emotionally and sexually by the other partner may feel lonely and resentful, and may come to regard the dharma as an enemy. Children of neglectful or indifferent parents may suffer terribly.
We see this paradigm first appear in the earliest Mahayana sutras, where it apparently got touted as a "third way" alternative to the established paths of bhikkhu and upasaka.
Jan Nattier wrote: There are numerous generic mentions of women, virtually all of them in reference to the wife of the male lay bodhisattva, and she is consistently portrayed as an object of clinging and as a possible stimulus to wrong action on the bodhisattva's part. The bodhisattva is told to view her as a "denizen of the Avici hell" and to train himself to conceive of her (together with his other relatives, employees and slaves) as not really "his". Lest he continue to feel any residual attachment to his marital partner even after these personalizing reflections, the lay bodhisattva is given a long list of negative thoughts he should cultivate towards his wife, ranging from a crocodile to a demon to a guardian of hell...In sum, the bodhisattva's wife is portrayed as an object and an obstacle, and the possibility is never even considered that she might be a serious Buddhist practitioner (much less a bodhisattva) in her own right. (A Few Good Men: the Bodhisattva path according to the Inquiry of Ugra)
The bodhisattva-to-be is urged to regard his wife as "impure, stinking, and disagreeable, as an ogre, a demon and a hag". Any affection towards family members is to be ruthlessly eradicated. No concern is expressed regarding the neglected family members, despite the bodhisattva-aspirant's telescopic philanthropy towards all sentient life.
It seems to me that this well illustrates the downside of mixing the vocations of householder and renunciant.