If my mind is clouded by distraction, then there is a lot mind like and don't like and a lot what is neutral. Then peace is far away. I see only one remedy and that is to work on in order to be able to remain aware. The more distraction is feeded by own dividing mind and judgement, the more naturally awareness is hidden.
I think that in equanimity of mind the lover, the love and the beloved one are actually not some things which can be located somewhere. There is no division at all. This must be the case for compassion and joy as well, or there is a kind of grasping which causes us suffering. In that way actions by disturbed mind looks like intersuffering or there is "a me" suffering and so actions can harm "others". In that way I can understand when wise say that peace must be ones own mind. If I try to understand that by my conceptual mind, I enjoy soon head aches. But in awareness, equipoise or whatever called all dividing clouds dissolve.
That is the beauty of no grasping mind, the beauty of our nature in which no labels are.
I can talk about very smoothly, and even awareness is so peaceful and the best medicine to protect against overwhelming tsunamies leading to distructive emotions/ thoughts, habits can be strong. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5u6YrQgzto
"Despite the fact that we are a ceaselessly transforming stream, interdependent with other beings and the whole world, we imagine that there exists in us an unchanging entity that characterizes us and that we must protect and please. A thorough analysis of this reveals that it is only a fictitious mental construct".
Shechen Rabjam Rinpoche.