Ervin wrote:I have dissolved any fears I might have in relation to my past. I have accepted what is, but I might say that after doing things in order to help my so called illness. Things like metaforically speaking purifying karma or whatever it is that I believe/ believed does so( I don't believe in literal Buddhist understanding of karma)...
Ervin wrote:...I am begining to feell much better/calmer. Looking after your health by watching as much as your discipline allows you what you eat and drink, wich pharmaceuticals you take since I am being forced to take them. Facing your fears, doing good, abstaining from harming as much as you can, or as much as your discipline allows you, etc.
Ervin wrote:In the end, my understanding is of why I want to do good and abstain from harming is for the reasons of me maintaining goodness and contributing to happiness and comfort of everyone and everything and yes I have also engaged in so called just behaviour for the purposes of helping my self and others. Otherwise I believe justice is just a preaty name for revenge and revenge is not quite comforting for the sentient beings whom it is pursued against.
Ervin wrote:Just a question: Why do some say that we need to confess our evil deeds and to whom do we need to confess?
Ervin wrote:Just a question: Why do some say that we need to confess our evil deeds and to whom do we need to confess? If you are confessing to someone who already knows, like you might say Buddha, then why does he need your confession? In dealings with people around you sometimes it feels good to clear up some things about your self, but why would the whoever it that you say you need to confess to need it in order to help you?
Ervin wrote:I am working now at a vegetarian/vegan buffet style restaurant as a volunteer if you dont include food and non alcoholic drinks like tea and coffee. It's byo for alcohol and you pay as you feel in a box. I started of as working 40hrs a week and now I changed to thirty hours a week. I don't want to change the hours any more.
As far as a detail of my history is concerned: I never thought soldiers actually take heavy drugs in the Australian regular Army which is where I got hooked on speed(amphetamines).But now I don't take so called illegal drugs any more.
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