How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Anything goes (almost).

Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby viniketa » Wed Aug 29, 2012 8:49 pm

conebeckham wrote:For every cat, there is an equal an opposite watermelon.


Fifth law of thermodynamics. :twothumbsup:
If they can sever like and dislike, along with greed, anger, and delusion, regardless of their difference in nature, they will all accomplish the Buddha Path.. ~ Sutra of Complete Enlightenment
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby safron » Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:39 am

catmoon wrote:Image



That is really cute :twothumbsup:
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby safron » Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:42 am

Image[/quote]


This is another cute animal :twothumbsup:

The comment is not cute :alien:
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby catmoon » Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:12 am

BeeGee has put up a post full of dead links.

I didn't find anything on elk sexing but I did find this:

http://lazyyogi.org/post/30409845171/the-intellectual-runs-away-afraid-of-drowning
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby catmoon » Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:11 am

BTW the real story behind the cat picture is weirder than you can imagine.

Field biologists working for the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation were doing a population census last fall when a mishap occurred. A biologist forgot to warm his hands before determining the sex of an elk, which as it turned out, happened to be a 1400-pound bull in full rut. This minor error resulted in the destruction of several campsites nearby as well as the biologist in question. Now, back at the biologist's camp there was a cooler that had this watermelon in it. The cooler was knocked over by the rampaging elk and the watermelon rolled into a neighbouring campsite. There, a young mother was nursing her infant child, which was struck by the watermelon and fell to the ground and colicked. Sort of a meloncolicked baby, really.

Now things get a little complicated. Among the other campsites destroyed were one belonging to the CEO of a major toilet company who had a passion for knitting and had come to the wilds to practice his obsession privately, where the shareholders and paparazzi could not find him. His small trailer was of course equipped with the very latest digital, internet-enabled, low volume pissoir and he was happily seated on this when the elk overturned the trailer. The trailer rolled over several times, finally halting at the base of the hill by a lake and the poor fellow found himself with his head jammed into the bowl, slowly drowning in his own, uh, product. The toilet that is.

Meanwhile, on a hill overlooking this debacle, help was on the way. An aging lama who was in retreat in a high cave had come out to fill his water bucket and saw the whole thing. He barrelled down the hill followed by his cat, who knew that he had never got anything right before and would probably need help again. (The cat was in fact the manifestation of a bodhisattva guiding the lama along the path, and for the purpose had taken the form of a Manx cat. The cat in the picture is not a Manx, but that's another tail entirely.)

The lama first came upon the trailer and hearing muffled sounds of distress entered to find a rather well dressed fellow with his head stuck in the toilet. With lightning perspicacity the lama immmediately deduced that he had interrupted a tsok offering in progress, and headed straight back up the hill to get his butter lamps and offering bowls.

The cat however was not so easily taken in by appearances, and realized the man was in distress. Seeing the watermelon floating in the lake and being well acquainted with the explosive properties of watermelons (http://puntodigital.com/surprise-in-china-due-to-explosive-watermelons/224729/). He retrieved the watermelon, rolled it under the trailer, poked it with a well placed claw and BOOM! The shockwave drove the man's head from the toilet, splattered his suit in watermelon bits, and drove his head into the cieling with painful force. He immediatedly started complaining to the cat about the mess and the bump on his head, which I suppose just goes to show you some people can't resist a good watermelon whine.
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby viniketa » Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:45 pm

Thank you for the really great story, catmoon!! :thanks: I've not had a sustained, rolling belly-busting laugh for awhile until this...

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :jumping:

:namaste:
If they can sever like and dislike, along with greed, anger, and delusion, regardless of their difference in nature, they will all accomplish the Buddha Path.. ~ Sutra of Complete Enlightenment
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby futerko » Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:58 pm

catmoon wrote:BTW the real story behind the cat picture is weirder than you can imagine.


Interesting use of the term "real" - cue the madhyamaka analysis... :spy:
we cannot get rid of God because we still believe in grammar - Nietzsche
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby catmoon » Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:33 pm

Poetic license. Or licentiousness. Or something.
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby pueraeternus » Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:10 pm

catmoon wrote:The cat was in fact the manifestation of a bodhisattva guiding the lama along the path, and for the purpose had taken the form of a Manx cat. The cat in the picture is not a Manx, but that's another tail entirely.


Gasp! It must be Avalokittyshvara!

Sadhu Sadhu!
When I set out to lead humanity along my Golden Path I promised a lesson their bones would remember. I know a profound pattern humans deny with words even while their actions affirm it. They say they seek security and quiet, conditions they call peace. Even as they speak, they create seeds of turmoil and violence.

- Leto II, the God Emperor
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby dharmagoat » Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:15 pm

pueraeternus wrote:It must be Avalokittyshvara!

:twothumbsup:
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Re: How to disrupt any Buddhist conversation:

Postby Blue Garuda » Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:40 pm

catmoon wrote:BTW the real story behind the cat picture is weirder than you can imagine.

Field biologists working for the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation were doing a population census last fall when a mishap occurred. A biologist forgot to warm his hands before determining the sex of an elk, which as it turned out, happened to be a 1400-pound bull in full rut. This minor error resulted in the destruction of several campsites nearby as well as the biologist in question. Now, back at the biologist's camp there was a cooler that had this watermelon in it. The cooler was knocked over by the rampaging elk and the watermelon rolled into a neighbouring campsite. There, a young mother was nursing her infant child, which was struck by the watermelon and fell to the ground and colicked. Sort of a meloncolicked baby, really.

Now things get a little complicated. Among the other campsites destroyed were one belonging to the CEO of a major toilet company who had a passion for knitting and had come to the wilds to practice his obsession privately, where the shareholders and paparazzi could not find him. His small trailer was of course equipped with the very latest digital, internet-enabled, low volume pissoir and he was happily seated on this when the elk overturned the trailer. The trailer rolled over several times, finally halting at the base of the hill by a lake and the poor fellow found himself with his head jammed into the bowl, slowly drowning in his own, uh, product. The toilet that is.

Meanwhile, on a hill overlooking this debacle, help was on the way. An aging lama who was in retreat in a high cave had come out to fill his water bucket and saw the whole thing. He barrelled down the hill followed by his cat, who knew that he had never got anything right before and would probably need help again. (The cat was in fact the manifestation of a bodhisattva guiding the lama along the path, and for the purpose had taken the form of a Manx cat. The cat in the picture is not a Manx, but that's another tail entirely.)

The lama first came upon the trailer and hearing muffled sounds of distress entered to find a rather well dressed fellow with his head stuck in the toilet. With lightning perspicacity the lama immmediately deduced that he had interrupted a tsok offering in progress, and headed straight back up the hill to get his butter lamps and offering bowls.

The cat however was not so easily taken in by appearances, and realized the man was in distress. Seeing the watermelon floating in the lake and being well acquainted with the explosive properties of watermelons (http://puntodigital.com/surprise-in-china-due-to-explosive-watermelons/224729/). He retrieved the watermelon, rolled it under the trailer, poked it with a well placed claw and BOOM! The shockwave drove the man's head from the toilet, splattered his suit in watermelon bits, and drove his head into the cieling with painful force. He immediatedly started complaining to the cat about the mess and the bump on his head, which I suppose just goes to show you some people can't resist a good watermelon whine.



Brilliant. :rolling: :rolling:
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