On giving advice

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Ngawang Drolma
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On giving advice

Postby Ngawang Drolma » Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:01 pm

Excluding qualified dharma teachers, what's your take on giving advice? In particular, how eager are you to give your thoughts and advices when they haven't really been requested?

Kindly,
Laura

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Luke
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Location: Europe

Re: On giving advice

Postby Luke » Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:11 pm

LauraJ wrote:Excluding qualified dharma teachers, what's your take on giving advice? In particular, how eager are you to give your thoughts and advices when they haven't really been requested?


When I'm thinking about whether or not to give my advice to someone, I consider these things:
1) My motivations for giving the advice: Am I really doing this to help that person or am I just trying to create some emotional satisfaction for myself by talking about what I want to talk about?

2) The receptiveness of the person: If I think that they absolutely won't even listen to what I have to say, I don't bother saying anything.

3) The quality of my advice: Is my advice really as good as I think it is and is it stated clearly enough for another person to benefit from it? If not, then I need to improve my advice before I say anything.

We can each get wrapped up in ourselves too easily. The more I learn, the more I realize that I need to keep watch over my spontaneous thoughts and actions, so I don't simply pass on more unnecessary negative karma to others.

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Karma Dondrup Tashi
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Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:13 pm

Re: On giving advice

Postby Karma Dondrup Tashi » Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:46 pm

LauraJ wrote:Excluding qualified dharma teachers, what's your take on giving advice? In particular, how eager are you to give your thoughts and advices when they haven't really been requested?


I really wouldn't.

:tongue:
The self loathes suffering and loves the causes of suffering. It stupidly wages war in the name of peace. It wishes for enlightenment but detests the path to enlightenment. It wishes to work as a socialist but live as a capitalist. When the self feels lonely, it desires friendship. Its possessiveness of those it loves manifests in passion that can lead to aggression. Its supposed enemies—such as spiritual paths designed to conquer the ego — are often corrupted and recruited as the self’s ally.
Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

Ngawang Drolma
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Re: On giving advice

Postby Ngawang Drolma » Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:08 pm

Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:
LauraJ wrote:Excluding qualified dharma teachers, what's your take on giving advice? In particular, how eager are you to give your thoughts and advices when they haven't really been requested?


I really wouldn't.

:tongue:


Perfect dear Tashi. Next time I need advice I'm coming straight to you :twothumbsup:


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