The punny thread

[Ogyen]

Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.


What do two love bugs have: insects.
-found in a bottle cap.

[Ogyen]

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
--Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)

[Ogyen]

“Young horses need a stable environment where they are free to foal up and be reined in before they come to serious harm.”

[Ogyen]

Cane sugar can't be beet.

[Luke]

Hi Ogyen. I just wrote one. Does this qualify?

Master-baking can be serf-abuse.

[catmoon]

There once was a sad fellow who decided to end it all by swimming out to sea and never coming back. He made his way to the beach where he saw dolphins leaping and playing in the waves. The dolphins, sensing something was not right, came in to shore and asked him why he looked so sad. He told them a long tale of loss, pain, and loneliness.

"Well", they said, "Obviously you need to be a dolphin like us. We are very special dolphins. We live forever, we are never sad, and we have fun playing in the surf every day."

"How can I ever be a dolphin?" The sad man asked. "It's just not possible."

"Ah, but it is possible", the dolphins said, "And not that difficult either. But you'll have to bring us some stuff."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Well, for starters we'll need some dead seagulls. If you wander the beach a while, you are sure to find some."

The man pondered this a moment, and thought "What the hell, I'll give it a shot." And went seeking dead seagulls. And indeed, just as the dolphins had told him, dead seagulls were not all that difficult to find. Having found several, he headed back to beach where he had spoken with the dolphins. Along the way, the path became narrow, steep and rocky. And there, ahead on the path, blocking it completely, he saw a sleeping lion. Unwilling to risk being late, he gingerly stepped over the lion, which did not wake. He had gone only a few steps further when he met a policeman coming the other way, who immediately arrested him.

Now the question is, what was the charge?

[catmoon]

Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.