A question on trust -
When we trust people, who know we trust them - and they let us down (knowingly), who is at fault - us, because we were silly enough to trust them? or them, for not being trustworthy?
Right now I'm feeling more than a little let down and I find myself being a little angry at them - and then even more angry at myself.
(When I say angry, I guess I mean disappointed more than anything - not anger in a "oh I'm so going to get you back" way!)
and yes, I'll get over it....
DharmaKitty wrote:When we trust people, who know we trust them - and they let us down (knowingly), who is at fault - us, because we were silly enough to trust them? or them, for not being trustworthy?
If I trust people, who know I trust them - and they let me down (knowingly), then I am at fault if I expect(ed) to get anything from them.
The right attitute towards everybody actually is love and compassion and not expecting anything from anybody. This is right practice.
Not to be trusted;
This is true trust."
-Tao Te Ching
If you're never let down by misplaced trust, then you're never actually trusting anybody. You're just creating something like business relationships with people, where both of you cannot break the others' trust because of something the other wants; it's like blackmail. Learning how and when to trust isn't easy. It comes with wisdom. The most important thing is to command respect. Some people command respect through love (through being such as a wonderful person that others would feel too guilty to hurt you), while others command respect through fear (through being such a violent person that others would be refuse to violate your trust, for fear of retaliation). In my experience, especially among the youth, more people have trust and respect based on fear of eachother than love. This isn't good, but it's how the world is. To deal with it, you either have to become a Klingon like them or become a recluse until you find people whom you can trust and respect based on love.
any problem we have with others is utterly just our own problem. so we have to change ourselvesDharmaKitty wrote:us, because we were silly enough to trust them? or them, for not being trustworthy?
that they may be untrustworthy and immoral is a different issue and can be tackled separately, once our own mind is at peace from having removed all our problems
being at peace is a sort of difficult thing to reach, since its so sophisticated and requires so much mental energy to reach/sustain
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