Difficult to show compassion to a person that hurt me - help
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:05 pm
Hi everyone! Since this is the Lounge, I figure it is most appropriate to post it here.
I am having trouble showing compassion to a person that has hurt me with unkind words in the past. I have taken up Bodhisattva recitation (Ksitigarbha and Guan Yin). When I think of their qualities, it helps me a little to figure out why this person would be trying to hurt me -- out of ignorance.
This person is a friend that I do not consider a BEST friend anymore. I dont hate him nor despise him because I know I am causing myself unnecessary pain. Being the ignorant person he is, he has condemned me to hell because I do not worship his god. I try to correct him but he refuses to listen and keeps on insulting me.
The Buddha dharma has definitely helped me on soothing my anger. It's just whenever I see his face, anger stirs inside of me. He has deceived me, gossiped about me, said unkind things to me and about me. Not to mention a bit hypocritical too - the flaws that he himself has, he reflects them upon other people and act as if nothing is wrong with him.
I realized that holding this anger is definitely NOT the way to go. I try to look at his situation and see that he actually lives a sad life. His mom mildly abused him and his siblings, took them out of school, his mom left him. When he is alone, he desperately seeks the attention of my friend and me.
Should I take this as an opportunity to practice compassion, especially when these thoughts rise?
Help...please??
I am having trouble showing compassion to a person that has hurt me with unkind words in the past. I have taken up Bodhisattva recitation (Ksitigarbha and Guan Yin). When I think of their qualities, it helps me a little to figure out why this person would be trying to hurt me -- out of ignorance.
This person is a friend that I do not consider a BEST friend anymore. I dont hate him nor despise him because I know I am causing myself unnecessary pain. Being the ignorant person he is, he has condemned me to hell because I do not worship his god. I try to correct him but he refuses to listen and keeps on insulting me.
The Buddha dharma has definitely helped me on soothing my anger. It's just whenever I see his face, anger stirs inside of me. He has deceived me, gossiped about me, said unkind things to me and about me. Not to mention a bit hypocritical too - the flaws that he himself has, he reflects them upon other people and act as if nothing is wrong with him.
I realized that holding this anger is definitely NOT the way to go. I try to look at his situation and see that he actually lives a sad life. His mom mildly abused him and his siblings, took them out of school, his mom left him. When he is alone, he desperately seeks the attention of my friend and me.
Should I take this as an opportunity to practice compassion, especially when these thoughts rise?
Help...please??