Everyone wants to feel good!

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Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Appareo » Thu Aug 08, 2013 8:14 pm

I used google translate so I apologise if some passages are confusing I just wrote this and I intend to try to get it published in some local paper. Please, share your thoughts :)

Everyone wants to feel good!

Hello!
Welcome to my little corner of the world. Or rather, my view of the world. For all of us have actually opposite individual picture of events, places, people, things, ideas and so on. All these together form our world view, and that's the world we individually go around and live in. But perhaps escapes many is that because our world is so subjective, it is also a mirror to ourselves. A reflection of us that constantly recreates and re-created. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy and can be exemplified as to whether, for example, go around and have the perception of reality that people are nice, positive and honest so will subconsciously or consciously behave nice, positive and honest with others.
If someone is nice for one, creates positive mood and show that they trust one, you become the naturally inclined to behave in the same way back. You know, sometimes when you meet someone and think, "But oh what a nice person". What do you think if I say that YOU can be that person?
 
I note, not something you read here is the absolute truth, it is only my truths. My hope is well that some of you embrace any of this and make it your truths, but the choice is entirely in your hands.
Because even though we all walk around in our own world, then an encounter with another human being, another consciousness, invite us into their world and bring something we did not know about the world, and thus we ointment. Or if you are confident in their own world, confirm that one's own world is more true to oneself.

Instead of seeing the guy in the hat, the gorgeous girl, the cocky guy, hen who thought hen was cool, the person you idolize or idiot who should have a spanking so we might well take a step back and reflect on what unites us?

We are all human, first and foremost. There are no jerks, creep, miffon, puckon and so on. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY goes around and think, "No, now I'll be an asshole". Nobody wants to see himself as a bad, evil person. We rationalize and legitimize such behavior simply because we believe that what we do will make us feel better. The truth is that all people want to feel good. All people want to be seen and appreciated and have fun. We all need oxygen, food, water, sleep and love. It is when we focus on what divides and separates us that we forget that we, as humans are able to feel all the emotions and then disappears empathy.
When we see what unites us, what we have in common, we can all experience the same feeling as soon as we start to see people for who they really are, and it is only when we truly see each other here and now.
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Ramon1920 » Sat Aug 10, 2013 12:07 pm

There are a lot of good points.
Good writing often needs to go through stages of organizing ideas so they can be put together in a really easy to understand and readable way.

One statement at the end says, "as soon as we start to see people for who they really are".
I have never been able to find out who people really are because all the different parts and tendencies they have are all dependent on other things.
When I investigate who they "really are", I don't find anything.

I think the subject you chose to write about, the commonality of people as a basis for goodwill, is a very good one.
I would add to it by using reasoning as to why the views that people are this or that are without a basis. Perhaps you could use the reasoning that 1) people do not always behave the same way, sometimes they are nice, sometimes they are mean, and if people had the permanent quality of being one way or another they would always be that way, 2) the qualities we imagine people to have are based on our knowledge of their actions, if they do good regularly we say they have good qualities, if they do bad regularly we say they have bad qualities,. Sorry I'm getting really sleepy right now.

So I would rearrange the writing kind of like this,

Benefits of goodwill and disadvantages of holding hard views of others
the reasons why goodwill is the correct view and hard views of others is the wrong view
encouragement to practice goodwill

I must sleep now!
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby LastLegend » Sat Aug 10, 2013 3:58 pm

Don't want to rain on your parade, but since you post here. Allow me to disagree. Yes, I like feeling good. I ain't gonna lie. But not in a pompous or bombastic style that you seem to present here.

Take care now
NAMO AMITABHA
NAM MO A DI DA PHAT (VIETNAMESE)
NAMO AMITUOFO (CHINESE)
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby undefineable » Sat Aug 10, 2013 6:02 pm

Good commonsense points about worldview that are reflected in Buddhist teachings (e.g. http://www.buddha-quotes.com/with-our-t ... the-world/ ), Appareo. However, your claim that
people are nice, positive and honest
only goes as far as
The truth is that all people want to feel good
, as you hinted. People are nice/positive/honest towards their own happiness-orientation, but not always towards that of others - It's always been normal to assume -from limited experience- that deeper satisfaction one may gain must depend on the exploitation, reconstitution, and (often) destruction of as many other sentient beings as possible - c.f. Nietzsche's "Will to Power". {Since I realised this I never sensed my own complete satisfaction to be a realistic possibility btw!}

If you're Buddhist, this pursuit of your own satisfaction may be cut by seeing that a) your "self" doesn't exist as an entity that (as an entity) could benefit from happiness, and that b) the painful, pain-inducing, or pleasure-limiting feelings of hostility, attachment and disregard that were a by-product of 'co-opting' other beings into your quest for happiness for yourself remains in your mind as part of your worldview - much as you described. At this point, one's own pleasantness, positivity, honesty and so on would begin to spread out from the centre of gravity that one's prior delusion of "self" had restricted them to, while the negativity of feeling the need to protect that "self" from unpleasantness, negativity and deception (is this sometimes translated as 'self-cherishing'?) becomes redundant.

In 'testing to destruction' the ideas you put forward, I have to mention autism, as this is a condition in which other beings are not perceived. However, since the existence of other beings may still be deduced intellectually in this state, first- and second- hand reports suggest that autistics, too, atleast
want to be seen and appreciated
. Here, I should just mention (in case anyone has taken on board much of what I've written on the subject on the autism thread and elsewhere on DW!) a recent discovery of mine that a tennis-ball-sized right frontal brain tumour -removed two years ago- may have been growing on and off from birth, so I may never have been fully autistic in whatever 'regular' sense might have given me insight into the nature of autism.

More to the point, what you wrote about humans can equally apply to sentient beings in general, as it doesn't even make linguistic sense for a being to desire suffering or avoid happiness unless happiness were the final goal of those tendencies - The nature of desire and avoidance rules out suffering as the final goal of either. Furthermore, if it's assumed that what you say about perceptual patterns applies across the board and to all beings, then none of them need possess a 'self' as the foundation of their perceptions and so on - Instead, they can be seen as sharing in common the condition of having actualised (after an infinite succession of karmas or otherwise) a random configuration of possibilities within an infinity of potentiality. Since each of the infinite remainder of un-actualised possibilities remains possible to a greater or lesser extent in the absence of an anchoring 'self', a third common condition is that the configuration constantly changes in ways that can neither guarantee nor preclude happiness for ever, and this leads back to the first condition in which beings seek to gain and maintain happiness.

So, living creatures need not share some substantial quality in order to have anything in common - The condition of both 'being' an individual and lacking a substantial basis for individuation logically makes certain tendencies inevitable, at least until all of this is understood at all levels of the psyche.
Ramon1920 wrote:One statement at the end says, "as soon as we start to see people for who they really are".
I have never been able to find out who people really are because all the different parts and tendencies they have are all dependent on other things.
When I investigate who they "really are", I don't find anything.

Maybe that lack of anything to find -and the possibilities this opens up for everything else to 'pass through'- is who we really are _ _ _
"Removing the barrier between this and that is the only solution" {Chogyam Trungpa - "The Lion's Roar"}
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby muni » Sat Aug 10, 2013 6:11 pm

Ramon1920 wrote:
Benefits of goodwill and disadvantages of holding hard views of others
the reasons why goodwill is the correct view and hard views of others is the wrong view
encouragement to practice goodwill



By the mispercieved hard views of others and ourselves, an investigation says; when we ourselves do a good job, that is because we are a being with such good characteristics. When we do for example a bad examination or job, then that is because of circumstances and so but not because of our being.

Then when we talk about others it is opposite. If they do something good, it is because they certainly had luck or good circumstances and when they do something bad, that is because they are so, have that characteristic.

An exception can be beloved ones, they are an extension of ourselves.

All want to be happy, to feel good. Oh yes. Happiness comes from the wish may all be happy, misery comes from the wish may I be happy.
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Ramon1920 » Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:27 pm

Muni, what you've written about inconsistencies reminds me of Shantideva's description of infantile people.

(12) They're envious of superiors, competitive with equals,
Arrogant toward inferiors, conceited when praised,
And hateful when told what they don't want to hear:
When is there benefit from infantile beings? - Chapter 8 Bodhicharyavatara trans Berzin 2004
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby muni » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:02 am

No need to add something to Shantideva wisdom other than experience by reading on self estime tread.

Low self estime, when praised can turn encouraged, for example to practice. Blamed however it loses that courage.
High self estime, when praised can turn arrogant, blamed it turns aggresive.

No feeling good at all by both examples.
Praise and blame, easy to say. Daily practice.

The daily mandala.
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Appareo » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:01 pm

To be honest, I understand little of what you all have written here. I am sure you are making some good points, I am just not susceptible for them at this time.

I should clarify, this article is ment for non-practicing, non-spiritual people in Sweden. Things like non-duality, ego-lessness and so on are so foreign to most of them that I believe that to affect or reach them, one must focus on the positive, joyful and mundane. Perhaps I will be able to steer my writing towards a deeper philosohpical stand point, but all in good time.

Bombastic and pompous you say? Do elaborate :)
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Johnny Dangerous » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:57 pm

Everyone wants to feel good, but hardly anyone ever does - they are too busy trying to feel good.
"Just as a lotus does not grow out of a well-levelled soil but from the mire, in the same way the awakening mind
is not born in the hearts of disciples in whom the moisture of attachment has dried up. It grows instead in the hearts of ordinary sentient beings who possess in full the fetters of bondage." -Se Chilbu Choki Gyaltsen
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby Qing Tian » Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:58 pm

:good:
“Not till your thoughts cease all their branching here and there, not till you abandon all thoughts of seeking for something, not till your mind is motionless as wood or stone, will you be on the right road to the Gate.”
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby LionelTeo » Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:39 pm

Good greeting to you!

This is a great and interesting post by you.

Here are my conclusion and what I practice in regards to your point.

In short

"Everyone do not want to suffer"
"Everyone wants to be praised"
"Everyone wants their point to be agree on"
"Everyone wants fame and fortune"
"Everyone had tried ways not to suffer, but some had done is wrongly by pushing their suffering to others to avoid suffering"

So every I practice
"Praise someone whenever possible"
"Greet them everyday when possible"
"Agree to them, offering victory to them"
"When someone slander, scold, or being mean to me, see them as my spiritual teacher"

:smile: Lastly, I wish you have a great day ahead. :twothumbsup:
We are born with compassion, it is just that we had lost it.
Understand no matter what happens, you already had shelter and food, these are enough for you to find happiness.
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Re: Everyone wants to feel good!

Postby KonchokZoepa » Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:25 pm

Appareo wrote:
We are all human, first and foremost. There are no jerks, creep, miffon, puckon and so on. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY goes around and think, "No, now I'll be an asshole". Nobody wants to see himself as a bad, evil person. We rationalize and legitimize such behavior simply because we believe that what we do will make us feel better. The truth is that all people want to feel good. All people want to be seen and appreciated and have fun. We all need oxygen, food, water, sleep and love. It is when we focus on what divides and separates us that we forget that we, as humans are able to feel all the emotions and then disappears empathy.
When we see what unites us, what we have in common, we can all experience the same feeling as soon as we start to see people for who they really are, and it is only when we truly see each other here and now.



this i think is very true and very healing, but you need an open heart and a loving attitude in the midst of confusion the be able to open yourself up to this experience. but would be really nice if this was in the newspaper or magazine. very good
If the thought of demons
Never rises in your mind,
You need not fear the demon hosts around you.
It is most important to tame your mind within....

In so far as the Ultimate, or the true nature of being is concerned,
there are neither buddhas or demons.
He who frees himself from fear and hope, evil and virtue,
will realize the insubstantial and groundless nature of confusion.
Samsara will then appear as the mahamudra itself….

-Milarepa

OMMANIPADMEHUNG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6P9tOYmdo
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