Attachment to a girl

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Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby Dave The Seeker » Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:36 am

Thank you Ayu.

I do attend about 10+ AA meetings a week, and she also attends AA/NA meetings as well. Neither of us has any intention to stop that.
I gave up on my therapist last week, she did help me a bit at first but it has gotten me nowhere in the last few months.

I really appreciate all the input.

:namaste:
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~

If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~

One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
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Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby justsit » Mon Dec 03, 2012 2:10 pm

Dave The Seeker wrote:I do attend about 10+ AA meetings a week...


Didn't you say that AA meetings in your area were limited? That's why no sponsor??
Just sayin'...
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Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby Ayu » Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:45 pm

justsit wrote:
Dave The Seeker wrote:I do attend about 10+ AA meetings a week...


Didn't you say that AA meetings in your area were limited? That's why no sponsor??
Just sayin'...

10+ meetings sounds like a joke to me?

As long as there are only two or three people to talk to from time to time, it's okay. Because it is good to have a telephonenumber in case of emergency, and good if there's enough faith to call. Even better if one never needs it.

With therapists i had similar experiences. Only one of 10 was able to help. :geek:
Because, if our mothers, who have been kind to us
From beginningless time, are suffering,
What can we do with (just) our own happiness?
From 10th of 37 Bodhisattva Practices
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Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby Dave The Seeker » Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:55 pm

justsit wrote:
Dave The Seeker wrote:I do attend about 10+ AA meetings a week...


Didn't you say that AA meetings in your area were limited? That's why no sponsor??
Just sayin'...


Yes in the 2 county area there are 3 places for meetings. 1 is a church, 1 halfway house and one group that is good, but very god focused. I consider that limited. But I guess that's just me :shrug:
Last edited by Dave The Seeker on Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~

If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~

One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
User avatar
Dave The Seeker
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:02 pm
Location: Reading MI USA

Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby Dave The Seeker » Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:01 pm

Ayu wrote:10+ meetings sounds like a joke to me?

As long as there are only two or three people to talk to from time to time, it's okay. Because it is good to have a telephonenumber in case of emergency, and good if there's enough faith to call. Even better if one never needs it.

With therapists i had similar experiences. Only one of 10 was able to help. :geek:


I attend meetings at the halfway house every morning and at least 1 evening a week.
I also go to the group that's not in a church most weeks twice or more in the evening, and on rain days at noon when I can't do to much work on the farm. I live alone, there really ain't much else to do.
Every Tuesday there is a Bill and Charlie meeting where we listen to a cd and talk about it afterwards.

So yeah 10+ meetings isn't a joke.
I also have friends I speak to on a daily basis on the phone.
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~

If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~

One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
User avatar
Dave The Seeker
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:02 pm
Location: Reading MI USA

Re: Attachment to a girl

Postby Ayu » Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:35 am

Wow! So many meetings. Then you need no telephone. :smile:
We had one meeting every wednesday evening - but kept some telephonenumbers in the pocket for the case of emergency. If anyone was likely to start drinking, he should have called BEFORE.
But this wasn't so easy. Most freaks didn't call before but afterwords.
To talk about it afterwords was also helpful but much more dangerous for the health.

To keep in topic: i think it is not possible (or at least not good) to adjudicate upon a person or a relationship before it has started. If the sympathy is very big this has a reason. If you don't want to become a monk, then you should keep your mind open for her.
But to be open means to face all coming possibilities. It mustn't become a wonderful honeymoon. Keep open to realize what ever may be. I think this is the best.
The pure love from heart to heart should not be a tabu.
Only my humble opinion.
Because, if our mothers, who have been kind to us
From beginningless time, are suffering,
What can we do with (just) our own happiness?
From 10th of 37 Bodhisattva Practices
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