Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Discuss your personal experience with the Dharma here. How has it enriched your life? What challenges does it present?

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby oushi » Sun Mar 09, 2014 8:28 am

Thomas_Pynchon wrote:Would being done with the past not ultimately mean finding the present?

There is still hope remaining. Present cannot be found, as it was never lost.
Thomas_Pynchon wrote:When having found peace in the present moment, I have felt the heart open, and yes.

I would say that you did not find peace in the present, but rather peace made you stay, not chasing after phenomena of the future and the past. Hope and fear.
Thomas_Pynchon wrote: I have found innocence in that, and (self)forgiveness.

I found precisely the same. Moreover I found the thing that keeps them hidden. The ego.
Say what you think about me here.
User avatar
oushi
 
Posts: 1596
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 6:18 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby ovi » Wed Apr 02, 2014 2:40 pm

A few thoughts. First of all, acceptance doesn't mean drowning yourself in the same thoughts again and again, as this is what you are trying to get rid of in the first place. To be able to get over something, you must experience a sense of regret. You have already accomplished that and for too long. It's time to give it up now. You've punished yourself already. Try to repay your past mistakes if you wish, with acts of goodwill and generosity; but you won't be able to help others if you can't help yourself. Instead, you'll continue to accumulate regretful thoughts and actions. You need to stay away from the people which by their presence, speech or actions drive your unwholesome thoughts. It doesn't matter how you feel about them. If you love them, you're not going to help them at all if your mind is constantly occupied with disturbing thoughts, instead of striving to work for their wellbeing. The origin of suffering is attachment to desire (greed). It is craving to be a being that has a past and a future. It is clinging to an imaginary being with a past and future that you invent and take for a self. It is this mismatch of reality and what you want it to be. To understand the general connection between desire and suffering, here are a couple of quotes from The Noble Eightfold Path, The Way to the End of Suffering by Bhikkhu Bodhi
The Buddha describes his teaching as running contrary to the way of the world. The way of the world is the way of desire, and the unenlightened who follow this way flow with the current of desire, seeking happiness by pursuing the objects in which they imagine they will find fulfillment. The Buddha's message of renunciation states exactly the opposite: the pull of desire is to be resisted and eventually abandoned. Desire is to be abandoned not because it is morally evil but because it is a root of suffering.[17] Thus renunciation, turning away from craving and its drive for gratification, becomes the key to happiness, to freedom from the hold of attachment.

When desire is scrutinized closely, we find that it is constantly shadowed by dukkha. Sometimes dukkha appears as pain or irritation; often it lies low as a constant strain of discontent. But the two — desire and dukkha — are inseparable concomitants. We can confirm this for ourselves by considering the whole cycle of desire. At the moment desire springs up it creates in us a sense of lack, the pain of want. To end this pain we struggle to fulfill the desire. If our effort fails, we experience frustration, disappointment, sometimes despair. But even the pleasure of success is not unqualified. We worry that we might lose the ground we have gained. We feel driven to secure our position, to safeguard our territory, to gain more, to rise higher, to establish tighter controls. The demands of desire seem endless, and each desire demands the eternal: it wants the things we get to last forever. But all the objects of desire are impermanent. Whether it be wealth, power, position, or other persons, separation is inevitable, and the pain that accompanies separation is proportional to the force of attachment: strong attachment brings much suffering; little attachment brings little suffering; no attachment brings no suffering.[18]

As such, you won't find inner peace and happiness by pursuing worldly objects of attachment, but only in yourself. It is already there, waiting to be unveiled from the thick blanket of the afflictions.
ovi
 
Posts: 92
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:06 pm

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby garudha » Thu Apr 03, 2014 2:33 am

Thomas_Pynchon wrote: Stop punishing yourself, I said, but the fear remained, I could not shake it.


Sorry, I haven't read all of the replies but thought I might be able to help...
(what I'll write are just my own views but I sincerely believe it to be true)

Fundamentally you are a good person. I don't need to analyse you because I believe we are all good people. However, I do see you are trying hard, and this is good.

It's perhaps difficult for someone to acknowledge that "I'm a good person" because we concentrate on all the bad stuff about ourselves. Also, in life we feel so much pain.
The reason you feel pain, and you're even numb to it, is because your capacity to feel compassion and joy is so great. That is a very important concept.
These words are simple but I'm going to give you a something to consider...
Although your responsibility about whatever has already happened is important to you, is that more important than continually allowing yourself to limit your compassion and joy?

Okay, maybe that's an easy decision to make in your mind. Q: So how do you know that you haven't just solved it conceptually? A: You must use any fears you have as a guide. You must face them and break through these situations with compassion.

The world is ready for you to express that compassion, There is no shame in it, the world needs it from you, and you have the capacity to give it.

Maybe you act a little odd, or not normal, but that's okay! We're all learning in life and finding our feet (even the non-Buddhists). You'll be surprised how the world will act when you transcend your fears, do exactly what you previously found "difficult" and thus live correctly.

When you're open, and stepping past your own fears, someone will feel you out and give you what you need to work with. The sooner you open yourself to the world, the sooner another will be able to help you... even if the help comes in a form you didn't expect.

In conclusion: Trust the flow of reality. You already tried to protect yourself but found that it hurt. Now you must open yourself. Let the flow of reality perform open heart surgery on you. Of course; don't be a fool!.. But you don't need to be... because you have your fears as a guide. To embrace fear is to embrace your shadow and heal your dark side. Regarding the latter sentence; you could use it to keyword find some good self help books, if you wanted.

This is the antidote to fear.

how could I let go of that pain, and free myself from that guilt, when the fact of what happened in the past remains?

Ask yourself> is that more important than continually allowing yourself to limit your compassion and joy?
What happened in the past *is* the past and what happens now *is* actually now.

certainly feels good to be able to speak openly

Actually you haven't really spoken openly about it so I guess you feel ashamed about it. The most powerful thing to do is recognise that you're in pain and offer to love yourself. Realise that compassion naturally arises and allow yourself to feel it. It's a very powerful force for good. You need to make a commitment to nurture yourself and bestow compassion on yourself. You can marry yourself in private, if you like!

Like transcending your fears, in the outside world, using compassion heals fear;.. transcending your shame, in the inner world, using compassion heals shame. Therefore; use shame as your guide. Step into the shame calmly. Then you need to feel yourself and let self-compassion arise for yourself. Yes, you're worth it! You are naturally Buddha and isn't that something to love? If you can open up to someone about it then you'll be able to heal faster too.

This is the antidote to shame.
Last edited by garudha on Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:27 am, edited 7 times in total.
~ "The requested topic does not exist" ~
User avatar
garudha
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:33 am
Location: UK

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby greentara » Thu Apr 03, 2014 2:40 am

Ovi, Thanks for the helpful posting....yes lets get back to basics of the Buddha's teachings.... where the truth lies.
greentara
 
Posts: 922
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:03 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:10 pm

Yes, we very often hold the idea that we need circumstances to generate how we feel, as with unconditional love, we think when we find someone we like then we will find love, thus giving ourselves permission to experience a state of unconditional love. Or if I feel guilt, I need someone's forgiveness to feel good about myself. Thus a viscous cycle of codepenance is invented and sustained so long as we believe that our state of mind is determined by circumstances. Now while can say that, see that, and believe this view to be right, how do you deal with other peoples feelings and attitudes towards you that you are in some way responsible for? You did something wrong, something wrong in the eyes of society, something that went against accepted moral values, that has shamed you, disgraced u forever in the eyes of your own family? Now I'm not saying that is my particular problem, but let's just say that for the sake of an example. So when u visit ur family, there is a shift in vibrational energy, negativity, hurt, fear, shame, hatred, disgust, all that and more are there, in the background, we all pretend that everything is normal, we have all moved past that, and what ever the hell u want to believe doesn't change that fact. As though nothing can change the fact, like a black hole that just sucks ideas about it up and spits them out. Evidenced by being here again discussing this when I already went over this with oushi previously. The shift takes time and I have only recently begun to recast these ideas, one moment seeing the light, the next cast back into darkness.

The most profound realization I have had recently was moving into the experience of 4th jhana, a deeply nondual state of being, in which there is recognition of the fabricated self, how everything we perceive is a holographic like assemblage, a timeless state in which I had the realization that without this identification without a seperately self, there is no past or future, and so nothing to act 'on'. Untieing the boat from its mooring, set free to simply float, drift, and be perfectly at peace with that.

As I mentioned previously, my guilt and shame that I have tried to spit out this last 24 years, has perhaps been for a reason I cannot see, maybe to help awaken in some way, but try to see it more now as a pearl, a gift, my humanity, that which has become like a guiding principle, as hidden and transparent as being itself. And of course it is being itself, it's just that it appears as these circumstances which I feel powerless to, but that which can only hold power over myself if I allow them to. Nothing is real, everything is real.
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Gwenn Dana » Thu Apr 03, 2014 4:26 pm

@oushi, Thomas_Pynchon:

Well, thank both of you. I had a couple more mind cramps release reading you and drifting off inside.

:namaste:
Gwenn Dana
 
Posts: 469
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2014 1:03 pm

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby oushi » Thu Apr 03, 2014 4:33 pm

You are welcome.
Say what you think about me here.
User avatar
oushi
 
Posts: 1596
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2012 6:18 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Thu Apr 03, 2014 4:52 pm

So if I chose these circumstances and chose to allow these circumstances to generate beliefs, feelings, thoughts that this idea of a separate self holds to be true, why? What for? There is nothing outside of the state of consciousness that could ever possibly be given, and so all has been received by the notion of a separate self. A gift from the higher self, downloaded and experienced for all these years so that I could one day turn around and say, "thanks, it's been a trip, now so long," and carry on.

So in that sense I'm not trying anymore to transcend it, embrace it, learn to love myself in spite of it, but to just see it for what it is, and when you truly see it for what it is, for what it was and always will be, then u find it, this, right here, waiting to be seen, found, as it always was, just this, etc etc.

This sort of line of thought is quite effective if I can remember to remember it, I do experience this quite profoundly, more recently, but I hate saying it, it doesn't solve anything, make anything better, or change what can never be changed; which again could be seen as the beauty of it, but I still care about how other people feel, I still want their forgiveness, I still want everything to be as it once was, without this stain on 'my' conscience, on 'everyone's' conscience. That is the 'self' talking, I want to blame 'them' sometimes, explain to 'them' that they are as much a part of 'this' as 'I' am, 'no one' is 'free' from 'this', and so long as I keep interpreting 'this' as consciousness, it all seems quite ironic, stupid, funny, absolutely ridiculous, boring, trance-like in its endless repetition, life's soap opera, and horrifyingly true.

That's what it is, that's how it can appear, the trick would seem to be how to stop reacting to it, to see that it absolutely has no power over anything, other than what we choose it to have. It can be a teacher, teaching us how to see, how to see ourselves, how we really are, in all of the myriad guises and forms that it takes.
Last edited by Thomas_Pynchon on Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:09 pm

Gwenn Dana wrote:@oushi, Thomas_Pynchon:

Well, thank both of you. I had a couple more mind cramps release reading you and drifting off inside.

:namaste:


Nice, and thank you :yinyang:
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby ovi » Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:11 pm

Love is the selfless thought of wanting others to be happy. It doesn't have anything to do with you. You don't need their forgiveness in order for you to love them, nor do you need for them to reciprocate. It doesn't matter what they think about you, it doesn't matter if someone considers you their foe, it has nothing to do with you.

We are all bound by birth to dukkha, we experience suffering and constant unease. We suffer for not getting what we want and for getting what we don't want. We constantly seek out for remedies to our suffering but due to our ignorance, we are deluded to see happiness in suffering. Seeing the darkness of the prison of samsaric existence, there are bodhisattvas, which guided by unconditional and infinite compassion, kindness and love make the sole purpose of their lives not to give up any of their efforts until all beings are liberated from suffering. A couple of quotes from Lam Rim Chen Mo (originating in the Ten Teaching Sutra and the Array of Stalks Sutra, respectively), regarding the teachers:
I have wondered for a long time through cyclic existence, and they search for me; I have been asleep, having been obscured by delusion for a long time, and they wake me; they pull me out of the depths of the ocean of existence; I have entered a bad path, and they reveal the good path to me; they release me from being bound in the prison of existence; I have been worn out by illness for a long time, and they are my doctors; they are the rain clouds that put out my blazing fire of attachment and the like.

Youthful Sudhana, the teachers are those who protect me from all miserable realms; they cause me to know the sameness of phenomena; they show me the paths that lead to happiness and those that lead to unhappiness; they instruct me in deeds always auspicious; they reveal to me the path to the city of omniscience; they guide me to the state of omniscience; they cause me to enter the ocean of reality's sphere; they show me the sea of past, present and future phenomena; and they reveal to me the circle of the noble beings' assembly. The teachers increase all my virtues. Remembering this, you will weep.

We're here for you and we are not indifferent to your suffering.

While in the beginning you can explore various objects of meditation, you'll eventually need to establish a proper path. Regarding jhanas, you first need to master the first jhana, that is be able to enter it quickly, remain for as long as you want, emerge from jhana without difficulty and experience each of the factors involved. You need to do this with every jhana before moving on the next.

Don't just jump from one object of meditation to another. Establish the objects of meditation and their order before beginning to meditate and sustain your meditation session accordingly. You should cultivate a level of alertness, so that whenever your mind strays from the chosen object of meditation, you quickly return and do so as many times as necessary in order to remain one-pointed on your object, remembering that whatever thoughts intrude, they are not the chosen object of meditation. You should begin your meditation session with mindfulness of breathing, trying to be aware of the sensations of breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils, without attempting to control your breath in any way, being just mindful of it. After achieve one-pointedness and maintaining it for a while, you can move on the next object of meditation established. I won't go into great lengths about this, there is plenty of information elsewhere.

You need to practice mindfulness at all times. Specifically, don't give in to your thoughts. Practice according to your established objects of meditation and after ending your meditation session, strive to maintain mindfulness. Observe your body and states of mind at all times, watch feelings appear and disappear, without clinging to any feeling or state of mind. Make great efforts to prevent being subdued by unwholesome states of mind and maintain attentiveness. Don't start elaborating, instead learn methods to suppress any distractions. Keep your investigation and interpretation to meditation sessions and practice only according to the teaching, instead of taking any random object of meditation. When going to sleep, don't let your mind wander carelessly. If you do, you'll have a hard time waking up every morning. Instead, try some of the following: apprehend an image of light and then sleep while imagining the light; block all thoughts and maintain a state of peace; continue to meditate on a chosen object of meditation which you sustained during the day until you fall asleep; one such object which I find most useful is mindfulness of death; it manages to cut through the afflictions and what I love most about sustaining mindfulness at the time of sleep is that even in your dreams you continue to meditate on the chosen object. Regarding mindfulness of death, you need to get rid of the idea that you will remain in this life. While we all know that death will eventually come, with each passing day we are used to thinking that we will not die today, clinging to this thought until the very moment of death. Don't think that you still have plenty of time. You only have a few chances at practicing the teaching. If you don't strive to practice, great thoughts of regret will ravage your mind at the time of your death. Eliminate all faults and regrets by then.
ovi
 
Posts: 92
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:06 pm

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby garudha » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:30 am

Thomas_Pynchon wrote:Yes, we very often hold the idea that we need...


Very truthfully, I think your journey in life could take a dark turn into a whole lot of pain before you emerge out the other side with the realisation you need.

For your own protection, I strongly suggest that you, now, nourish the bonds which already exist with the family/people who do accept you, and, consider how you'd cope with a years unemployment and issues keeping intimate relationships together.

The road of spiritual growth is bumpy.

So when u visit ur family, there is a shift in vibrational energy,
negativity, hurt, fear, shame, hatred, disgust,
all that and more are there,


Are you blaming them instead of taking responsibility? Is it okay, with you, that your family feels this way? You know an many cultures; you'd be crawling on your knees, kissing their feet, begging their forgiveness. You think they don't have compassion?

What's hard for your family is that they themselves are having a relationship with themselves and then you walk in, lower their vibe, they feel cut off from their true self, and blame you for it. So, maybe it's kinder if you leave them to it. How do you feel about that? ...You can't expect them to be perfect, can you?

So if you think your-very-presence is causing them to have a less-than-stellar relationship with their own internal buddha, what you going to do about it, huh? -you already know how painful it feels, don't you. Meditate on that... their feeling.

You think, perhaps, they wouldn't want someone walking in the door who's a ray of sunshine, making them feel better? You think they're already perfect, huh? -------I tell you.... You have the power to solve this situation inside yourself.
~ "The requested topic does not exist" ~
User avatar
garudha
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:33 am
Location: UK

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Mon Apr 07, 2014 1:28 am

Thx to ovi for the pm, that gave me a few ideas about personality types and 'transcending the self'.

There is such emphasis in 'spirituality' to transcend the self, and when we do have those moments of transcendence, invariably we whined up back where we started. With our self. The thing is that by the time most people get around to 'transcending the self', there is already a very solidified sense of 'who we are' in place from years and years of building and accumulating an identity through behavior, negative/positive reinforcement, and so forth.

A few years ago I was quite interested in Enneagrams, surprised at how accurate they were at pin pointing my own personality 'type'. But soon lost interest at the way it seemed quite contrived fitting everyone into little boxes.

But self is contrived, invented, made up, taught to us by what we are not, built up and interpreted as weakness, faults, not fitting in, the black sheep of the family, and so on.

And then the issue of family, community, society, the formation of beliefs, 'I don't fit in', negative effects, we stop trying to fit in and just live on the fringe never seeing those 'weaknesses' as our very strength, power, talent, and so on.

When we begin to define who we seem to be, and stop for a moment trying to transcend, and in a sense, 'escape' from the self, then we can begin to build a community based around our own unique capacities, strengths, talents, etc. That when we see what this 'self' is, defined in terms of strengths, whether that is through an enneagram, or whatever or however we manage to come to grips with the way we can best contribute to a community built upon and around a 'personal' shared vision of our truth, then that would seem as good a place as any to start a spiritual practice but that's never where we start. We start with a screwed up self that we want to get rid of, or change, thinking it will just drop away revealing the knight in shining armor behind it all come to save the day.

I have had very profound revelations through meditation, and spontaneous awakenings, but more recently I have come to realize that it takes more than that to cut through the years of conditioning and beliefs that lie at the core of who we have come to 'think' we are. Or at least, when we come to have those experiences, there seems to require a radical re-conceptualization of everything we thought we knew as true about ourselves and the world.

What do you think Ovi?
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby ovi » Mon Apr 07, 2014 1:07 pm

The best advice you could possibly get is from a teacher or someone who is more knowledgeable than me. I am a novice Buddhist, I am hardly worthy of teaching others about the Dharma, but I strive to do my best and I will point a few things that I came to understand:
- the ego is a powerful force, you need to progressively weaken its influence; there are 2 opposite ways in which it tries to establish its dominance: through negativity, such as fear, regret and self-loathing or through things such as selfishness and arrogance. Both cases are extremely damaging to progress, it is necessary to weaken them in the course of practice; one such way is by avoiding people, objects and thoughts which create unwholesome states of mind and being accustomed to people, objects and thoughts which lead to wholesome states of mind. Avoiding unnecessary arguments, instead communicating with people that you can relate to, seeing how their own suffering is not much different from your own and being part of this community can help a lot; mutual-help can go a long way towards self-acceptance and thus silencing the disrupting influences of the ego that you eventually want to transcend; a life of practice is difficult if you can't live with yourself; furthermore, regarding both monastic and lay Buddhists, there is such notion as Kalyāṇa-mittatā . A few quotes:
In the Pali Canon's Upaddha Sutta (SN 45.2), there is a conversation between the Buddha and his disciple Ananda in which Ananda enthusiastically declares, 'This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie.' The Buddha replies:
'Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path.'[3]

'With regard to external factors, I don't envision any other single factor like admirable friendship as doing so much for a monk in training, who has not attained the heart's goal but remains intent on the unsurpassed safety from bondage. A monk who is a friend with admirable people abandons what is unskillful and develops what is skillful.'[5]

Upatissa says that a "good friend" should have the following seven qualities:
"Loveableness, esteemableness, venerableness, the ability to counsel well, patience (in listening), the ability to deliver deep discourses and the not applying oneself to useless ends."[7]

- the weaker the afflictions (such as anxiety and restlessness) are during the day, the easier it will be for you to meditate, gain insight, weaken the afflictions and so on
- the ability to change is closely intertwined with 2 ideas: honestly recognizing that you have a problem and developing a powerful intent of changing the way you think
- my own changes through the course of practice happened with the progression of the above, followed by sustained peak experiences on contemplating the three marks of existence. That is, contemplating dependent-arising and refuting the idea of self (by refuting properties that we use to define a self and through which we wrongly identify form as a self; for instance that a self is independently born, while in reality everything is dependently-arisen, that it is a static entity, while in reality everything is constantly changing, that there is an inherent uniqueness in a self, through which you can identify it, while in reality, form is merely the result of past phenomena, how the idea of eternalism makes no sense as forms are constantly changing, thus there isn't something that you can hold on to and wish for it to remain etc.), seeing how craving to be a being with a past and a future is the source of much misery and confusion etc. When contemplating one-pointedly as such and insight arises, instead of being happy with it and calling it a day, sustain this insight for as much as you can (e.g. for a few hours) in order to turn your mind from previous ways of thinking, with the honest goal of never going back to those deeply disturbed states of mind again (not by craving or clinging to this undisturbed state of mind, but by making use of right effort). If you are bothered by discursive or disturbing thoughts which have great negative influence on your mindfulness, finding the state of complete tranquility through contemplating the above or something else and maintaining it similarly is just as useful. This sort of practices had profound and permanent influences on my thought process. I should mention that I took the three marks of existence at the beginning of my practice, not from insight, but from ignorance of what I was supposed to meditate (I didn't have much knowledge about Theravada and Mahayana for instance). It was most useful for me do have done so, but we each start from our own delusions. Someone already having extensive analytical knowledge of the Dharma and putting strong faith into it, might find something else to practice first. This is why having a teacher that can give personal advice is so important.
- with continuous practice, one thing becomes apparent: the constant interpretation through which we try to understand things through our own categories and assumptions not only doesn't deliver the expected insight, but it is a great hindrance towards actual insight, as it makes us cling to our own categories and assumptions. We can wander for a long time in this way and little insight will arise, but by actually practicing what should be practiced, things which we constantly tried to understand, become obvious and insight appears upon our previously faulty practice. We try to find our ways through the darkness of ignorance and even when finding the correct way (the Dharma), we are tempted to interpret things instead of contemplating one-pointedly on that which should be contemplated, analyzing its characteristics and dissecting it to uncover its fundamental structure. We need to do this whenever true doubts arise as well, although I believe this is something to be eliminated early in the practice.
- you can state one thing in many ways, there are endless ways of combining ideas and arriving at equivalent or related ones; or otherwise, a contradiction in one thought can bring countless contradictions when using it to arrive at other conclusions; that's one more reason why you should focus on a practice that is suitable towards advancement, rather than just trying to see how everything is interlinked before fully understanding what you're trying to link together; as you reach a higher and higher level of thought, things will start making more and more sense, culminating with enlightenment, perfect and complete understanding of phenomena
- I know when concentration has reached its necessary level for insight (as well as samadhi) when I can clearly see everything I am contemplating as if I am looking at it with my eyes wide-open
- trying to find a home in this world is the sure way towards suffering; everything around us is crumbling and breaks down, instead of clinging to any home, one should instead establish itself onto a proper path
- trying to find a better way towards enlightenment (contrasting it with whatever we've read or heard; thinking how something could have been better stated or how it would have been ideal for you) is another way we start interpreting things, instead of understanding them (I'm guilty of having done that too); instead, do whatever is best suited for your progress at the moment; clinging to thoughts greatly hinders you; as you progress, your opinions about these things will change a lot; strive towards actual practice and progress, you will gain far more insight into the best methods and practices to go with as you move along; you will then realize whether something you chose to do on your own is useful towards progress simply by honestly answering yourself to the question of whether whatever you're doing is useful; once you reach enlightenment, it will be trivial to guide anyone according to their needs and see their path unfold towards liberation before it even happens or create your own commentaries if you wish, but for now, it is impossible for you to even have a detailed understanding of how you will walk the path yourself
- in the end, everything I did was merely to prepare myself to follow actual advice joyously, patiently, calmly and without doubt; I am for instance practicing lam rim chen mo and due to its magnificent explanations of what needs to be done, progress arising from practicing this excellent teaching far exceeds what I could have ever accomplished without following an actual guide
You are obviously intelligent and you have yet to fully acknowledge the great strength and resilience that you are capable of; by using the best way you can produce for overcoming negativity, you will find a solid and unshakeable ground for progressing towards enlightenment. I'm not inherently contradicting your post, nor solely expanding upon it, but merely pointing out a few things, such as do what is useful towards progression, without interpreting it in the large picture of things, not trying to see how things are interlinked before fully understanding what you're trying to link together. Once good practice leads you to understand these things, many more things will naturally start to make sense. And above all, apply yourself with trust to an actual guide or teacher.
ovi
 
Posts: 92
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:06 pm

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Mon Apr 07, 2014 8:47 pm

Thanks, Ovi!

I suppose what I was getting at in my previous post, was questioning what really changes about ourselves when this 'self' drops away. I have heard many teachers say that it is a complete non-event, and from my own experience from time to time, I would say the same. As completely mind blowing as those experiences are, at the end of the day we are still the same 'person', having to decide what to do with our lives, what to do from day to day, and while it won't seem to matter anymore what we do, it would seem a good idea to examine what are strengths and talents are, and begin building upon those in order to avoid self defeating negative beliefs which may limit our capacity to lead a fulfilling life.

I'm going to start another thread about this.
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Re: Letting go of Fear and Guilt

Postby Thomas_Pynchon » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:31 pm

Thomas_Pynchon wrote:So if I chose these circumstances and chose to allow these circumstances to generate beliefs, feelings, thoughts that this idea of a separate self holds to be true, why? What for?


Bc that's what ego does, how it works. Ego abhors a vacuum, it generates circumstances that engage and maintain it. Simple. Self and other. Duality. Constantly taking it's cue from circumstances to generate an inner state of being. Mood swings. Ego is time based, it has a past and a future, working to overcome, and waiting for the day. The higher self doesn't care what you do, if you want to live in that delusion for the rest of your life, go ahead, have fun.
Thomas_Pynchon
 
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:09 am

Previous

Return to Personal Experience

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Dan74, Johnny Dangerous, odysseus, Soar and 8 guests

>