First of all - STOP panic !
There is nothnik what can brings you pain! The only pain that can arose is your fear.
Try to understand what is actualy your fear.
- fear to die?
- fear of pain?
- fear of hell?
- fear of what? There is no any contact ! The only door is your mind.
You wondering what you ould offer to them (to your illusion). This offer, it's not obsorbtion - it's FEAR that you offer. They are made by fear, and your fear make them exist. Only what they want it's just EXIST, like us, like all beaings thay want just to exist.
So you offer them this existance. By your fear you offer a condition of their existance. Like a fly who comes to night light - it's the same.
More you fear - more they exist.
But use your buddhist compassion !
Think a little bit, they dont want your life, or our soul, or whats ever, they wants just to exist... I donk know how much you compassion is developed, but naturaly i feel compassion to them. It's sad... It's wery sad... They want exist... Imagine a little bit... I want to cry when i think about those ignorant beings... The only wah that they find to exist, it's make fragile peoples fear... I'am sure they are sorry, but they can not do another way... Exuse them, and be compassionate.
Only metta !
You know, once i dwelt at the night in some forest. It was scary the first time. And in this forest there was animals, big rats. At the begining i was scared of them, but when i putt my fear in the trash, i saw... that actualy it's not me who are afraid, but it's them who are afraid !! They felt so scary by my presence !
Dont be afraid, they feel fear more than you, it's sure. And you know why they feel fear of you? Because it's not yours existance what is conditioned by them, but is their existance what is conditioned by you...
Develop your morality at the maximum.
When your morality is pure - you are not afraid by any situation, no any enemy, enywhere. Make good deads, develop your metta to all beings, not just to your ego, or your body, who even not belogns to you. There is nothing that belongs to you, even this fear...so why you feel fear? You fear to lose something?... It's realy sad, because you have nothing to be losed.
- find what is the nature of your fear (death, hell, soul...)
- uproot this fear
- develop your morality, do good deeds, have no regrets.
There is some suttas:Ud 1.7When,
with regard to his own qualities,
a brahman is one
who has gone beyond,
he transcends this goblin
and his pandemoniumhttp://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html
And there is an another sutta in SN
, but i dont remember, when Buddha said that when a bhikkhu have a perfect morality there is no any enemy, here there or every where. True problem is morality. heart of problem is morality!
So stop cry please, there is nothing evil, and go develop your morality. Read DN1
, and do only good deeds.