Why do we persist in activities that are harmful when we know better? Maybe we don't even enjoy them anymore how we used to, but keep on truckin' anyway.
For example, say someone has a lot of trouble refraining from intoxicants. Maybe they drink.
They know they overdo it if they start with even a little bit.
They beat themselves up over it. Time and time again, they feel the suffering of their actions.
Maybe the desire to indulge lessens from dharma practice... but as soon as the opportunity comes up again, they can't seem to resist. It's like someone else takes over, even as they try to persuade themselves.
They may even be at the point where pleasure in the activity has dried up.
But instead of this being a cause for renunciation, they try to hype themselves up into enjoying it again, which is fruitless.
I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol.
But I've had to say "here I am again" more times than I care to remember.
I feel like I'm going crazy when this happens!
If we clearly appreciate the downsides of an action or a habit...
have reached a saturation point where even pleasure is gone, or only a crumb remains...
If we go through hell resisting the activity and even more after indulging in it...
Why do we persist?
I feel like I can see a few things clearly keeping me tied down, but it's like a Chinese finger trap trying to let go of them.
Thanks for your insight