I was well taken care of and thank goodness I didn't know what was happening to me, I might of held onto the experience. About five years into meditation is when I started researching symptoms outside of this meditations traditions. (Edit, just a note, this happened to me 20ish years ago so my memory is foggy)
I did have a BIG resentment back then. As my practice matured and I was able to practice other meditation methods and meet other people, listen to their stories I got over it. My teachers were taking care of me per their tradition and I turned out just fine. As my Dharma teacher said, I needed equanimity and it worked like a charm. You know Sunim my teacher was from the Korean Zen tradition and he said just sit and view everything that comes up with equanimity. I think the huge flare up was because of the trauma I suffered as a kid, lots of conditioning to let go of
Also the worst most awful part was my back opening up, that was serious pain like a gallbladder attack or having a baby…it was awful but only lasted 3 days, every time I sat down to meditate, the rest of the 7 days was absolute intense bliss and freakout visions. I'm sitting there watching it all thinking holy cow poop, this is crazy, how am I going to tell anyone what happened?
You know the night after the top of my head opened up I went blind, all I could see was one big red Z when my eyes were open or closed. That lasted about 2-3 hours and I thought for sure I blinded myself from sticking to my seat with that strong determination, the vision faded and I could see in the dark but I was so relieved to see and so tired, I went to sleep without a care or thought of wonder I could see in the dark. The next day I lost my voice, couldn't talk for about 4 days, my thyroid felt like it was rotating and buzzing and there was so much bliss. I couldn't talk and I couldn't tell my vipassana teachers what happened. I told Sunim when I got home, he gave me great advice and kicked my ass for getting attached..ha! The rest of my retreats till this day were pretty easy and I later told my vipassana teachers what happened. Some of their stories are even more explosive than mine. The overwhelming need to clean up my life was another story though, that's ongoing ….
The best thing that happened, my irrational fears are gone and my understanding of myself has grown so much, it was a good thing that happened. I just wasn't prepared for how freaky weird it was. Now with a stable life I can work on bodhicitta, I guess that's the next step. I get really turned off by whiners from any tradition
I found the Vipassana Nanas which helped me understand what was happening per the meditation technique and tradition (http://www.thisismyanmar.com/nibbana/vpsnana.htm
padma norbu wrote:
I Googled "Goenka kundalini" and found a yahoo group dedicated to those who've had unpleasant kundalini awakenings and then felt they were left "high and dry" with the problem. Sounds fairly common with Vipassana, but after reading about it a bit I'm not so sure I'm interested anymore. It started to sound like how I felt back in 1993 after I stopped using LSD and thought I might be damaged for life.
Life is one big LSD trip lol…seriously, never figured out why folks wanted to alter their reality when it's already so freaky weird.
Mind and mental events are concepts, mere postulations within the three realms of samsara Longchenpa .... A link to my Garden, Art and Foodie blog Scratch Living