Going for interviews

Discuss your personal experience with the Dharma here. How has it enriched your life? What challenges does it present?

Going for interviews

Postby jibbyboo » Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:10 pm

I am relatively new to Buddhism, however I've been practicing the virtue of honesty for over a year now. And largely have not told any lies or misrepresented myself.

Therefore when I had an interview for a new job and my boss asked me what I was doing with my time off, I told them.

This has worked to my detriment, as I have now been offered an ultimatum to accept a new job with a payrise, but also a doubled notice period and to promise not to look for other jobs.

As this isn't what I want to do with my career, and I didn't like being put in that coercive position, so I have told them I can't accept their offer.

Currently awaiting their response to my rejection, in the hope that as they're distant family they will show some compassion and not provide me with my notice immediately - particularly as they know I have bought a house recently and have a mortgage to pay.

Luckily I have an interview next week, but as I haven't received word from my bosses yet about how they're planning to proceed, so I am reluctant to arrange a time during work hours as I will undoubtedly be asked why I need time off.

It is very difficult to maintain my honesty when I know that it will undoubtedly lead to further hassle at work.

Given the non-virtue of lying, has anybody else been in a similar situation of going for interviews when in another job? How have you dealt with the situation?

I would be very grateful for any help, advice or personal experiences.

Peace.

:buddha2:
jibbyboo
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:52 pm

Re: Going for interviews

Postby greentara » Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:16 am

jibbyboo, Of course honesty is the way to go but I've got to say you're fortunate that the job offered is from a family connection. There would be millions who would only be too happy to take up the offer. I don't know where you live or what you do for a crust? Be grateful that you have options.
greentara
 
Posts: 931
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:03 am

Re: Going for interviews

Postby jibbyboo » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:27 am

I appreciate your point, but the reason I want to leave is because my working conditions are poor eg I don't get any sick leave or sick pay, I have to use holidays. I wouldn't receive any maternity/ paternity if I chose to have children. I don't receive a pension. I feel they are taking advantage of me with the things they're asking of me in my role, and paying me very little.

My curiosity lies with this:

People in the modern world, including Buddhists, will be working in jobs and aspiring to achieve more and develop themselves intellectually at the very least. If they felt, as I do, that there was little to no growth opportunity in what they were doing, then they would need to search for other jobs. Do they all tell their bosses where they're going if asked why they're taking time off?

My friends and family are in full support of my decision to remove myself from this company (as they have behaved appallingly, particularly as my employers are supposed to be relatives). My Buddhist teacher whom I have had more time to go into details about the reasons I wanted to make the move in the first place has suggested that the treatment I am receiving is completely unethical.

But surely there must be a Buddhist way of coping with this sort of situation in the modern world without just turning oneself into a doormat?
jibbyboo
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:52 pm

Re: Going for interviews

Postby Jinzang » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:58 am

You shouldn't lie, but there's nothing in Buddhism that says you can't answer a question by dissembling. When asked, you could have said, "nothing special," or any of a number of answers. It's often the case that Buddhist teachers will answer this way when a more direct answer will not help thier students.
Lamrim, lojong, and mahamudra are the unmistaken path.
Jinzang
 
Posts: 383
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 3:11 am

Re: Going for interviews

Postby Konchog1 » Fri Nov 08, 2013 2:25 am

Intention. Lying is only a fault when you lie to harm.
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

-Ra Lotsawa, All-pervading Melodious Drumbeats
User avatar
Konchog1
 
Posts: 1346
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2011 4:30 am

Re: Going for interviews

Postby PadmaVonSamba » Fri Nov 08, 2013 2:47 am

jibbyboo wrote:I am relatively new to Buddhism, however I've been practicing the virtue of honesty for over a year now. And largely have not told any lies or misrepresented myself.
Therefore when I had an interview for a new job and my boss asked me what I was doing with my time off, I told them.


There is a difference between lying and guarding the truth.
You haven't said specifically what your 'time off' activities include.
if you like to spend your off-hours finding stray animals and torturing them, for example,
an employer might consider thet there may be something wrong with you psychologically.
If it is something that would make a potential employer not want to hire you,
you don't have to mention it.
if you are telling them that you like to spend hours practicing Buddhist meditation,
and if you live in the United States,
then you should stop mentioning your 'religious" activities
because employers are not legally allowed to ask about that
and by mentioning it, you may be disqualifying yourself from being hired
because, if for some reason in the future they felt the need to hire you
if they knew you were a buddhist, because you told them,
you could then potentially make a claim that they wanted to fire you for discriminatory reasons
and no employer wants to take that risk.
.
.
.
Profile Picture: "The Foaming Monk"
The Chinese characters are Fo (buddha) and Ming (bright). The image is of a student of Buddhism, who, imagining himself to be a monk, and not understanding the true meaning of the words takes the sound of the words literally. Likewise, People on web forums sometime seem to be foaming at the mouth.
Original painting by P.Volker /used by permission.
User avatar
PadmaVonSamba
 
Posts: 2845
Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 1:41 am

Re: Going for interviews

Postby mandala » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:00 pm

jibbyboo wrote:
It is very difficult to maintain my honesty when I know that it will undoubtedly lead to further hassle at work.

Given the non-virtue of lying, has anybody else been in a similar situation of going for interviews when in another job? How have you dealt with the situation?



I understand where you're coming from.. and yes, I'm applying for other jobs at the moment.

The thing is, being honest doesn't mean you need to divulge your private information to anyone who asks a question.
You have more options than: 1. be brutally blunt and say everything you think or 2. lie.

The place I work is filled with gossiping and people trying to pry into each others' personal lives... when I'm asked about my weekends/time off, I may say 'oh I had a relaxing time, how about you?'
That's not lying. I just don't find a need to share my personal life at work. It's no-one's business. Funnily enough, it does cause hassles at work because i choose not to get involved with gossip... but I can live with that!
You don't need to tell your bosses what you do in your spare time and they can't make you promise that you'll never leave. There is also nothing in Buddhism that encourages you to be a doormat - you don't have to take threats or intimidation.. If i were you I'd accept a pay raise (which it sounds like you're owed anyway) and find a new job (on the quiet this time!) and leave.

:thumbsup:
User avatar
mandala
 
Posts: 171
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:51 pm


Return to Personal Experience

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: duckfiasco and 12 guests

>