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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 10:06 pm 
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Thank you, everybody, for rolling up this "old" topic.
I learned very much about perception and about drawing a distinction between "his problems" and "my problems". In a friensdship, this line easily blurs, but it is very important to see this as clearly as possible.

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The fact that we are trying to study the MIND with the MIND has inherent limitations and I think that Dr. Burton is right when he says our response should be HUMILITY."

Yes, this was what i found out now. To keep humble is like a protection and also it is a good tool in dealing with disagreement. One can remain true to oneself and be humble in the same time...

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:48 pm 
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dzogchungpa wrote:
So you are judging others judging? Well done.
And now you are judging another for judging others, and samsara just keeps on rockin'! :tongue:

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:09 pm 
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gregkavarnos wrote:
dzogchungpa wrote:
So you are judging others judging? Well done.
And now you are judging another for judging others, and samsara just keeps on rockin'! :tongue:

Actually, I was judging another for judging another for judging others. :smile:

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:38 pm 
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dzogchungpa wrote:
gregkavarnos wrote:
dzogchungpa wrote:
So you are judging others judging? Well done.
And now you are judging another for judging others, and samsara just keeps on rockin'! :tongue:

Actually, I was judging another for judging another for judging others. :smile:

Why am I hearing circus music and envisioning a giant Ferris wheel?

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 9:53 am 
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Hickersonia wrote:
Why am I hearing circus music and envisioning a giant Ferris wheel?

:smile: Must be in your mind...

OneofMany wrote:
... Sometimes relationships grow out of their need, change/adapt dynamics or separate into their own respective paths. :thumbsup:

I'm disposed to believe that this is not only "sometimes", but "always" in one or the other way.
It is desireable that these changes don't come suddently and abrubt - because this hurts very much. It is good to have friends, it is hard to loose them.

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 5:54 pm 
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Hickersonia wrote:
Why am I hearing circus music and envisioning a giant Ferris wheel?


Yes, Samsara is a huge Circus! And we are all clowns, monkeys and other cute animals who perform through the interaction of the Wheel. :group:

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Sat May 04, 2013 11:30 pm 
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Dronma wrote:
Yes, Samsara is a huge Circus! And we are all clowns, monkeys and other cute animals who perform through the interaction of the Wheel.

Don't forget the freaks and geeks!

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:05 pm 
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Quote:
It is desireable that these changes don't come suddently and abrubt - because this hurts very much. It is good to have friends, it is hard to loose them.
Yes, that is true.

The change hurts, it seems especially so when it comes suddenly or unexpectedly. Without time to prepare, or brace oneself, but how much time is needed? What rate change is ideal?

But I ask, in a sense rhetorical, in hindsight, were there signs that things were headed for a change? Personally, as a creature of habit, things can appear too painful to face as it's slipping away, I react by grasping tighter, perhaps ignoring the facts before me but that just makes the release more so.... the resistance to the change can cause it(suffering, etc.) to increase.

Loosing a good friend is really tough, but I'm also the type that sees opportunity in pain, growth in obstacles, so I would sit with the hurt, and explore it, what is the this that hurts? Who hurts? Why is it painful? Why is loosing a friend(or xyz person) so painful? Sit with it, openly, and explore, dig around for the root of this hurt, and pull it out. :) When one finds the root of this particular part of the pain, the hurt, the source, and nips it at it's source, the rest falls like a deck of cards(or fail to regrow with as much vigor as so many weeds). Sometimes I found weeding to be helpful in life's many aspects(as well as in the garden).
I hope this helps, best regards.


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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:05 pm 
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Thank you, OneofMany - these were good advices. I tried this already for some time. It is the correct way to deal with pain.

But there was a missing link for my understanding. A friend told me about "double bind" situations in communication.
I never heard of this before. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind
But now i realize it all - it's like a domino-day in front of my eyes. My "friend" needed me urgently for to be smaller than him, so he could be "great". For this reason, i could make efforts as much as possible - he was never satisfied and looked for a purpose to put me down.
I'm not angry - just my english is too bad for this complicated thing.
I think, i did my best to help him with nearly neverending patience, but he didn't like me to help him, because it means he is not the great phantastic boss. So he needed to put me down.
Now that i understand this completely, there is no pain for loosing him anymore. It is just a shock - he was no friend at all. :oops:

My very best wishes for his future and his mental recovery.

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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2013 4:16 pm 
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OneofMany wrote:
Loosing a good friend is really tough, but I'm also the type that sees opportunity in pain, growth in obstacles, so I would sit with the hurt, and explore it, what is the this that hurts? Who hurts? Why is it painful? Why is loosing a friend(or xyz person) so painful? Sit with it, openly, and explore, dig around for the root of this hurt, and pull it out. :) When one finds the root of this particular part of the pain, the hurt, the source, and nips it at it's source, the rest falls like a deck of cards(or fail to regrow with as much vigor as so many weeds). Sometimes I found weeding to be helpful in life's many aspects(as well as in the garden).


I totally agree with this view! :smile:
Pain can be a great teacher for our inner practice/development!
One of the books that helped me to release some unnecessary relationships in the past was: "Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself".
http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025
Of course, we are all interdependent in this dimension, but we don't have to be voluntarily codependent in distressed relationships too.

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~ Padmasambhava ~


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 Post subject: Re: Megalomania
PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2013 5:51 am 
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“If you read the founding documents of the PR industry, they say: ‘We have to make sure that the general public are incompetent, they are like children, if you let them run their own affairs they will get into all kind of trouble.” ~ Dr. N. Chomsky

The ultimate result of these methods is the production of a state of infantilism throughout the entire population. A state wherein a few key meaningless words and phrases - “change we can believe in”, “hope for a better tomorrow”, “patriotic pride”, “homeland security”, “they hate our freedoms”, the execrable “if you are not with us then you are against us”, and so on - can be used to trigger a entire population toward approval and even support of activities inimical to rational behaviour.


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