Do You Still Get Angry?

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Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:32 am

I was going to post this story before the Marriage article….it's closer to my heart :twisted:
Upekkha.jpg

One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. “You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.” Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?” The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.” The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.” “If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy.”

This was one of my first Dharma stories years ago, I still remember it as if it was yesterday :tongue:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby Wayfarer » Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:54 am

Well - yes! Maybe not so much as previously, but still...and my family always says 'not very Buddhist of you' whenever I do, which makes it even more annoying.

Although I have noticed that there is a definite increase in equanimity from meditation practice. So I will still get annoyed by traffic incidents and things, but I don't have that kind of formless "bad temper" that I used to have frequently earlier in life. Generally speaking there is more equanimity, but I don't know how it would hold up if there was a big drama. :shrug:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:03 am

jeeprs wrote: Generally speaking there is more equanimity, but I don't know how it would hold up if there was a big drama. :shrug:


Me too! I've been faced with big Drama and instead of my head feeling like it's on fire, or me thinking, "oh my gosh, I am gonna push that button (nuclear bomb)", my body just gets a really solid vibration and my mind stays pretty clear. I still deal with a whole lot of confusion, people don't make sense to me, that must mean I don't make sense to myself :thinking:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby LastLegend » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:08 am

reddust wrote:
jeeprs wrote: Generally speaking there is more equanimity, but I don't know how it would hold up if there was a big drama. :shrug:


Me too! I've been faced with big Drama and instead of my head feeling like it's on fire, or me thinking, "oh my gosh, I am gonna push that button (nuclear bomb)", my body just gets a really solid vibration and my mind stays pretty clear. I still deal with a whole lot of confusion, people don't make sense to me, that must mean I don't make sense to myself :thinking:


You are funny. :rolling:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby mandala » Tue Dec 03, 2013 4:07 pm

jeeprs wrote:Well - yes! Maybe not so much as previously, but still...and my family always says 'not very Buddhist of you' whenever I do, which makes it even more annoying.


My family do that too.. yes, it's very annoying :tongue:

Oh, I still get angry but not so much in the 'instantly erupting volcano' kind of way that i used to. Now I just swear alot (to myself) and get over it.
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Wed Dec 04, 2013 2:49 am

My inability to communicate with myself and others was one of the number one reasons why I lost my temper, a big cause of my rage. I was raised to be seen and not heard, school we had to sit still and memorize for tests. If I spoke out about what I thought I usually was made fun of or I got in trouble or was told to be quiet. I think that was like putting a lid on a jar of food and letting it sit in the sun. I had a really hard time writing and speaking. Once I started meditation in my 30s I found my ability to communicate improve, plus I started reading all kinds of philosophy, not just Buddhist philosophy. Reading philosophy felt like I was rewiring my brain, it was painful but after awhile really fun and I couldn't read anything else for many years. For a time you couldn't shut me up, I made up for lost time. Now I'm just kind of taking life as it comes without the burden of a bad temper and I can express myself without getting frustrated. :twothumbsup:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby plwk » Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:03 am

The Insult
Yes, there are days when I still activate my WMDs [weapons of mass destruction] when the push comes to shove... well at least I don't hiss at the cat anymore...
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby tidathep » Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:39 am

reddust wrote:This was one of my first Dharma stories years ago, I still remember it as if it was yesterday :tongue:

-------------
Sawaddee Ka..Reddust,

I really like your story...and I have a story about anger to share with you..(a monk at Wat Buddhavas, Houston told this story years ago...I still remember it clearly):

Pancapapa [Wisdom Library]
Pancapapa is a daughter of a poor man of Benares. Her hands, feet, mouth, eyes and nose were hideous, hence her name (the Five Defects); but her touch was ecstatic. The reason of all this was that in a previous birth she had given clay to a Pacceka Buddha with which to tidy his dwelling, but, on first sight, she had looked angrily at him.

One day she happened to touch Baka, king of Benares, and he became infatuated with her. He visited her home in disguise and married her. Later, wishing to make her his chief consort, but fearing the mockery of others because of her ugliness, he devised a plan by which the citizens should become aware of her divine touch.

Afterwards, owing to the jealousy of the other queens, she was cast adrift in a vessel and claimed by King Pavariya. Baka, hearing of this, wished to fight Pavariya, but they agreed to compromise, and from that time Pancapapa lived for a week at a time in the house of each king.
------------------
The monk just wanted to tell people to do good deeds willingly/happily...or the merit might not be so good.

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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Mon Jan 13, 2014 1:09 am

Dear tidathep,

I've been angry most of my life. Who knows how many Bodhisattvas I've looked at feeling cross and grumpy.... holy heck I am going to come back as something really ugly....prolly like ...hmmmmm what is really ugly....Oh I know, a hairless bear :D

My motto is, "When in Doubt, do nothing"......that is keep my mouth shut :thumbsup:

but, on first sight, she had looked angrily at him.
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby plwk » Mon Jan 13, 2014 2:24 am

Oh I know, a hairless bear :D

Image
Alternatively, it's an honour to be a Sphynx...
...but still...and my family always says 'not very Buddhist of you' whenever I do, which makes it even more annoying.

Which I would tell mine... Didn't Jesus say to turn the other cheek? :tongue:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby shel » Mon Jan 13, 2014 5:16 am

reddust wrote:I was going to post this story before the Marriage article….it's closer to my heart :twisted:
Upekkha.jpg

One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. “You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.” Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?” The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.” The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.” “If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy.”

Why would anyone be insulted by someone else's anger?

And, if someones is angry they are already unhappy. :roll:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Mon Jan 13, 2014 7:19 am

plwk wrote:Image
Alternatively, it's an honour to be a Sphynx...


I will take that as a positive, but still that is one ugly cat! :tongue:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby shaunc » Mon Jan 13, 2014 10:48 am

reddust wrote:
My motto is, "When in Doubt, do nothing"......that is keep my mouth
I do that a bit. I got told as a kid that it takes no brains & even less effort to keep your mouth shut. This habit has undoubtedly saved me from making a million apologys.
plwk wrote:

... Didn't Jesus say to turn the other cheek? :tongue:

So Jesus said this did he? Is this the same Jesus that took a stick to the loan sharks, gamblers & dealers at the temple.

I think if we're honest, we all get angry at times. As long as we don't let the whole world know we're angry it's not too bad & for our own sake don't carry it too long.
If Jesus can get angry so can I.
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby tidathep » Mon Jan 13, 2014 5:52 pm

Sawaddee Ka...Plwk/Shaunc/Reddust,

Oh I love the picture of 'hairless cat' so much...I saw it in the TV sitcom 'FRIENDS'...it had bad temper that nobody wanted to buy when the owner tried to sell the cat.....and I have another story about ANGER for you too:

The Story of Princess Rohini

While residing at the Nigrodharama monastery, the Buddha uttered Verse (221) of this book, with reference to Princess Rohini, sister of Thera Anuruddha.

On one occasion, Thera Anuruddha visited Kapilavatthu. While he was staying at the monastery there, all his relatives, with the exception of his sister Rohini, came to see him. On learning from them that Rohini did not come because she was suffering from leprosy, he sent for her. Covering her head in shame, Rohini came when she was sent for. Thera Anuruddha told her to do some meritorious deed and he suggested that she should sell some of her clothing and jewelry; and with the money raised, to build a refectory for the bhikkhu. Rohini agreed to do as she was told. Thera Anuruddha also asked his other relatives to help in the construction of the hall. Further, he told Rohini to sweep the floor and fill the water-pots every day even while the construction was still going on. She did as she was instructed and she began to get better.

When the hall was completed, the Buddha and his bhikkhus were invited for alms-food. After the meal, the Buddha asked for the donor of the building and alms-food, but Rohini was not there. So the Buddha sent for her and she came. The Buddha asked her whether she knew why she was inflicted with this dreaded disease and she answered that she did not know. So the Buddha told her that she had the dreadful disease because of an evil deed she bad done out of spite and anger, in one of her past existences. As explained by the Buddha, Rohini was, at one time, the chief queen of the king of Baranasi. It so happened that the king had a favourite dancer and the chief queen was very jealous of her. So the queen wanted to punish the dancer. Thus one day, she had her attendants put some itching powder made from cow-hage pods in the dancer's bed, her blankets, etc. Next, they called the dancer, and as though in jest, they threw some itching powder on her. The girl itched all over and was in great pain and discomfort. Thus itching unbearably, she ran to her room and her bed, which made her suffer even more.

As a result of that evil deed Rohini had become a leper in this existence. The Buddha then exhorted the congregation not to act foolishly in anger and not to bear any ill will towards others.

Then the Buddha spoke in verse as follows:

Verse 220: Give up anger, abandon conceit, overcome all fetters. Ills of life (dukkha) do not befall one who does not cling to mind and body and is free from moral defilements,

At the end of the discourse, many in the congregation attained Sotapatti Fruition. Princess Rohini also attained Sotapatti Fruition, and at the same time her skin disease disappeared, and her complexion became fair, smooth and very attractive.
-----------------------
After death...Princess Rohini was reborn into the Tavatimsa Heaven...she was the most beautiful angel that 4 devas quarreled because of her...the case went to Sakka to judge , who she should be with????
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby LastLegend » Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:13 am

Angry is empty. So I get angry all the time. :tongue:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:43 am

LastLegend wrote:Angry is empty. So I get angry all the time. :tongue:
When I get angry I don't feel very empty...makes my body feel like a brick :tongue:

tidathep wrote:
As a result of that evil deed Rohini had become a leper in this existence. The Buddha then exhorted the congregation not to act foolishly in anger and not to bear any ill will towards others.

Then the Buddha spoke in verse as follows:

Verse 220: Give up anger, abandon conceit, overcome all fetters. Ills of life (dukkha) do not befall one who does not cling to mind and body and is free from moral defilements,


Thank you Tidathep, inspiring stories are food for my heart! I still struggle with frustration but no more rage and my anger doesn't last for years, months, weeks, even a day now. I think I am making progress or maybe I am must getting old, no more energy to waste on anger or headaches :hug:
reddust wrote:, "My motto is, "When in Doubt, do nothing"......that is keep my mouth"

shaunc wrote:
I do that a bit. I got told as a kid that it takes no brains & even less effort to keep your mouth shut. This habit has undoubtedly saved me from making a million apologys..


When I was a kid I learned to keep my mouth shut, saved my life and my butt from a whipping many times and I forgot the skill in my 30s, learned it again working for lawyers. The less said, the less trouble you can get into. Especially talking about other people's business :thumbsup:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby LastLegend » Tue Jan 14, 2014 9:07 am

reddust wrote:
LastLegend wrote:Angry is empty. So I get angry all the time. :tongue:
When I get angry I don't feel very empty...makes my body feel like a brick :tongue:



When I get angry, I feel a burning sensation in my head. Then after my anger subdued, I am empty again. The Vietnamese translation of suffering is "phiền nảo." Phiền literally means bothering nảo means brain. :lol:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Tue Jan 14, 2014 9:12 am

LastLegend wrote:
reddust wrote:
LastLegend wrote:Angry is empty. So I get angry all the time. :tongue:
When I get angry I don't feel very empty...makes my body feel like a brick :tongue:



When I get angry, I feel a burning sensation in my head. Then after my anger subdued, I am empty again. The Vietnamese translation of suffering is "phiền nảo." Phiền literally means bothering nảo means brain. :lol:


Reminds me of a commercial we had here in America about your brain on drugs. The commercial showed an egg frying in a hot oil....it's hard to think while your brains on fire too. Anger does feel like a drug...I think I was addicted to it for a time as well....Best not to feed addictions of self and other :namaste:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby LastLegend » Tue Jan 14, 2014 9:19 am

Vietnamese, "Phiền nảo tức bồ đề" which means "suffering is bodhi." :mrgreen:
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Re: Do You Still Get Angry?

Postby reddust » Tue Jan 14, 2014 9:34 am

LastLegend wrote:Vietnamese, "Phiền nảo tức bồ đề" which means "suffering is bodhi." :mrgreen:


wiki
Bodhi is an abstract noun formed from the verbal root budh (to awake, become aware, notice, know or understand) corresponding to the verbs bujjhati (Pāli) and bodhati or budhyate (Sanskrit). Also from the same root are the Sanskrit words bodha (also meaning knowledge or intelligence) and buddhi which is the exact equivalent to the Greek word nous.


I guess anger can wake you up to your own suffering...hahaha, why is my brain on fire? I figured out it wasn't anyones fault, it was my conditioning. So no sharing anger, no taking other people's anger...just let it be as it is and it'll burn itself out. The hardest part for me was and still is not hooking into other people's anger. I tend to accept it, take it personal and that triggers the anger in me. So a large part of my practice the last 10 years has been working in a sangha, setting up teachings and retreats. Working with other people in a sangha setting really helped me calm down. For some reason, for me anyway Sangha for layfolk is like a pressure cooker :D
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