Hi everyone, thanks for taking the time to write a reply
You all made good points, some thoughts I found particularly helpful were:*
Keep focus on the main objective of Buddha's teaching- it is not to get rid of desires, but to get rid of suffering and achieve real peace. What is the use of trying to become desireless if that only brings suffering?*
There is a difference between the joy of active desire and joy that is experienced naturally without craving or seeking it. *
There's a difference between getting rid of desire through experience, and trying to get rid of desire through intellectual brow-beating. The latter doesn't bring the benefits of the former, because the idea hasn't been experienced firsthand. It is better to get rid of desire through experience, by practice of the 8 fold path, and growth of sila, samadhi, and panna. That will naturally remove defilements, and the peace of desirelessness will come naturally.
As for the suggestions to see a professional, I have been receiving treatment for my depression.
I just wanted to make sure that if I were to practice Buddhism at this time in my life, it wouldn't lead to a relapse of deep depression. It doesn't seem it would, as I wouldn't be focusing on removing desire, but rather practicing the 8 Fold Path (which would naturally lead to a removal of desire without the negative side effects I previously experienced). But any personal thoughts on practicing Buddhism with depression would be appreciated
It's like the chicken and egg scenario- I don't know whether my wrong practice of Buddhism caused the depression, or the depression led to a mistaken application of Buddhist practice. I'm suspecting the latter, but again, I'm not sure. It could likely be a combination of both wrong practice (trying to force myself to prematurely bend to concepts that are meant to come naturally) and depression that led to my poor experience. In any case, the clarifications on desire were much appreciated!