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my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:08 pm
by _Namaste_
I have mental health problems av had them for a long time
I have Depression , OCD, I hear voices and see things i also have an eating disorder and i self injure
I know i need to work with myself to change this and am seeing some one soon for the OCD
but am in the uk and under the NHS it takes a while before i will see anyone
Am trying not to self injure as much as i can but things have been hard for me and my husband ( my husband also self injures )
we just lost my husband granddad to cancer and I nearly lost my mum to cancer but she is better now but has to use a wheelchair
There are other stress as well
With the OCD i wash my hands a lot and i keep thinking that am going to hurt people or hit people who i don't know
i keep thinking something bad is going to happen to people i love and if i dont do a certain thing its will be bad
my voices and seeing things i get medication for and for my depression and OCD
I cant get help for my eating disorder am restrict to eating 500 - 1000 calories a day and do exercise i have asked to see someone about it but because am obese they will not do anything about my BMI would have to be 17 my BMI is 39
so i have loads to lose I have tried healthier ways of losing weight but i find that i binge eat as well
I also make myself throw up as well

I have read about mindfulness i don't think i can understand it much but i have wrote things down when i have felt like self injuring and it helps but today things have been very hard and i self injured this morning my husband self injured yesterday
we both need to stop this but we are find thing very hard right now

I have a book called mindfulness for dummies and its been helpful
Anything that i can do to learn mindfulness would be helpful
Thank you
:namaste:

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:20 pm
by oushi
Your post is really moving. It made me want to help you, so if you think I can be of any use for solving your problems, just ask.

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:32 pm
by _Namaste_
Thank you so much
I Think at the moment i need to ground myself away from my emotions because i need to be strong for my husband
and his family.
I normally push my emotions away when things like this goes on
I deal with it later in some form ( either writing it down or me self injuring )

with the mindfulness i feel that i need to learn more about it
I had CBT about 3 years ago with a therapist but i got very ill and didn't make the appointments a few time so we stopped going there
av been waiting 4 months since i got diagnosed with OCD for an appointment with another therapist it can take up to 6 months to see someone in the UK on the NHS

Am unsure what to best thing to do for my husband he is trying to keep himself busy with playing games etc i just have to be there for him

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:38 pm
by dude
I as well am enormously concerned, and frustrated that you have to wait before seeing a doctor.
We're no substitute for treatment, but I'd like to hear about what you've learned so far about mindfulness and what help it has been.
For now we'll just have to do the best we can.
I will send prayers immediately and hope to hear from you again as soon as possible.

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:40 pm
by KonchokZoepa
do you mean drug use by self injure ?

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:42 pm
by dude
[quote="Ella"]Thank you so much
I Think at the moment i need to ground myself away from my emotions because i need to be strong for my husband
and his family.
I normally push my emotions away when things like this goes on
I deal with it later in some form ( either writing it down or me self injuring )

with the mindfulness i feel that i need to learn more about it
I had CBT about 3 years ago with a therapist but i got very ill and didn't make the appointments a few time so we stopped going there
av been waiting 4 months since i got diagnosed with OCD for an appointment with another therapist it can take up to 6 months to see someone in the UK on the NHS
f.
Am unsure what to best thing to do for my husband he is trying to keep himself busy with playing games etc i just have to be there for him


Emotions can be overwhelming. We'll work on that. Please do your best not to hurt yourself. It's much better to write about your feelings and talk about them. I'm listening, and I care.

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:33 pm
by reddust
I suffered from panic attacks and struggled with body image and depression over 20 years ago. I also was controlling with food. I let go of how much weight I should lose and focused on eating healthy whole foods and taking long walks. I'm here for you too. I don't know if I can give you any helpful advise since our conditioning is so different from person to person. Just don't give up and know that there are people who have gone through what you are working on now that are healthy and happy now. I am one of them and I really do empathize with you pain, fear and struggles on top of the loss of loved ones. Be kind to yourself I think would be good advice, reading the suttas about the virtues, especially metta really helped me and gave me strength to help others while helping myself, going to group therapy support and service work, eating whole food and organic stopped my need to over eat, it's really hard to binge on kale and collards. I stay away from processed foods and drinks, don't keep them in my house, that seems to be a trigger for me. (http://www.bodhicitta.net/Metta%20Sutra.htm) :heart:

Re: my mental health and mindfulness

Posted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 11:43 am
by mandala
Hi Ella,

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I also suffer from depression & earlier this year saw a psychologist who does mindfulness therapy ("ACT" - acceptance & commitment therapy) & found it helpful.

In that state of mind, I'd stopped meditating & couldn't bear reading and had constant thoughts of harming myself. What i found most beneficial was the CD of guided mindfulness meditations that the psych gave me - it took the hard work out of it to be able to just listen and focus.
If you like, I'd be happy to post you a copy. PM me if you're interested

cheers