I can't think of a good title! ^^;

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I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby jzpowell93 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:24 pm

Hello everyone!

My name is Jaya and I just turned 20 about two weeks ago. I started my practice on October 4, but I don't plan to "officially" take refuge until sometime next summer. I want to make sure this is a lifelong commitment before I do so.

I feel like I was fated to come to Buddhism, haha. In the past year I've had some memorable existential crises, one time where I stayed up til 5 am crying about death and impermanence and the cruelty of existence. I've also had some extreme attachments in past romantic relationships; the most recent one was better but still I needed some help.

I walked away from Christianity to Atheism at 15 but the past few years I'd been feeling unfulfilled, like something was missing, or like I still needed answers or meaning or something, and a lack of religion/spirituality wasn't helping. Recently I began picking up hours at my university's divinity bookstore, and that was all while the incentive I needed to remember that I wanted to study Buddhism.

For now my basic practice is meditation for half an hour while chanting the compassion mantra. Today I added prostration while reciting the names of the 35 Buddhas, which raised the time up to an hour. I'm hoping to keep it like this for a while, so I can be diligent about it.

I'm using the school's Hindu/Buddhist shared meditation room, and noticed that the first day that I couldn't concentrate because I was so worried about people walking in and finding me. Thankfully that wasn't such an issue today! (Although I was much more concerned about my empty stomach XP)

There were also a few moments where I felt like I might want to cry... not sure about that. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe it's just me. It usually is :rolling:

I tend to lurk, so I may not post much, but I wanted to say hi and let you all know I'm here :D *waves*!
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby ClearblueSky » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:20 am

Welcome. Sometimes it takes a little turmoil to get us moving towards happiness. Sounds like you're doing a good job, may your path continue to bring you happiness!
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby dzogchungpa » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:57 am

I think that is an excellent title. :smile:
Through Dzogchen we can really understand what God is and we don’t have to worry if there is a God or not. God always exists as our real nature, the base, for everybody. - Chögyal Namkhai Norbu
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby smcj » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:29 am

Welcome Jaya. Lurk all you want.
A human being has his limits. And thus, in every conceivable way, with every possible means, he tries to make the teaching enter into his own limits. ChNN
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:09 am

Welcome to Dharma Wheel!

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